Health Diaries > Hypochondria > The Hypochondria Blog
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
My story
I haven't always been like this. When I was 17 I had unprotected sex one time and got an STD. Suddenly I realized I was not invincible. I became obsessed with my sexual health, constantly making up symptoms in my head that didn't exist. It would consume me for hours at a time.
This went on for a few years, then I seemed to get better for a few. I would occassionally have my obsessive moments, but they were few and far between. It seems like the last couple of years it has come back and gotten worst. Now it isn't just sexual health, it is everything. I've had a small, odd-shaped freckle on my chest for years. I found myself spending hours looking at skin cancer pictures on the internet the other day. This morning I woke up with a sore throat and I read about swine flu for a few hours.
We got a dog a few months ago, and everytime she makes an odd noise or does something I am not familiar with, I am googling it and convincing myself she has all sorts of things.
The thing is... I know it's crazy and I know that odds are I don't have any of this stuff. I get lost on webmd, but when I stop and think about it, I realize how ridiculous and sick it is, but I cannot stop. And my feelings about illnesses have changed. When I first started being like this, I was more intrigued. Now I am really frightened of becoming seriously ill. I think I always thought that people with hypochondria weren't aware of their illness, but I am completely aware of how irrational I get. Is that possible?
I don't have health insurance, and I am probably the only person in the world that thinks that might just be a blessing. Otherwise I would probably be at the doctor once a week.
The worst is that I hide it from everyone. When the urge does overtake me and I go to the doctor anyway, I don't tell anyone. I don't tell my boyfriend that I can get obsessed and spend hours researching symptoms and convince myself I am dying. I am living with this secret paranoid obsession and I know it is crazy. I am an intelligent person. I have overcome a lot in my life. But, I think I am a hypochondriac.
Posted by Hypochondriac | Filed under: Hypochondria Blogs | Comments (3)
Tuesday, Apr 21, 2009
This Is What I Do
Posted by Tamar | Filed under: Humor | Comments (6)
I worry constantly about getting sick.Bumped (tapped,really)my head the other day and had full blown panic attack that I'd fractured my skull. Had a headache and thought I had an anuerysm. Burned the back of my throat a little with a hot drink,started thinking that my throat was going to close up.A little pimple on my head, thought it might go into my brain.My eyes are a little red so they must be infected. If I lack energy,I think it must be luekaemia.If I get puffed,I worry that I'm going to have a heart attack. Etc.Hypochondria sucks.
Posted by Tamar | Filed under: Humor | Comments (0)
Friday, Mar 27, 2009
Is this it?
I have probably been concerned about my health for as long as I can remember. I almost can't bear to think how many hours I have spent pondering over what is wrong with me. When I am in one of my anxious periods it is almost unbearable. Anxiety attacks, hours browsing the web and health books together with imagining how I am going to cope with the illness, outcome etc dominate the weeks until I can seek reassurance that I am not at that time actually suffering from the condition that I am most confinced I have. What is probably most comical is although I sort of believe I don't have the illness which has preoccupied me for so long I then worry that the amount of time I have spent worrying about it has probably started the ball rolling and I am just about to get the illness! I know it sounds madness when all around me other people are actually being ill and experiencing the horror of really coping but I just don't seem to be able to completely stop the process.
Anyway I just thought this may ring bells.
Posted by alice | Filed under: Hypochondria Blogs | Comments (5)
Tuesday, Mar 17, 2009
I have hypochondria
hypochionjdria is so gay and i have it cuz when i get kicked in the head im like "FUCK I GOT BRAIN TUMOR" but really i just got kicked in the head and it hurts but i think i have a brain tumor. when i went to school yesterday im okay but when im alone in my room and i have a stomachache im like "FUCK I GOT STOMACH ULCERS OH SHIT" and then i drink a bunch of drain-o but it doesnt help it only makes me feel worse it makes me puke and then im like "OH SHIT I GOT BULIMIA OR MAYBE ANOREIXA!" so then i dont eat for like six days but then when i faint i get up and go eat a cheeseburger and im like "OH YEAH THATS GOOD"
So thats the story of my life.
Posted by Terrel P from Ashern | Filed under: Hypochondria Blogs | Comments (2)
