The Hypochondria Blog » April 2008

April 10, 2008

Crying Wolf

I'm so afraid that after all of the years of my "diseases", and running to every doctor in town, that one day I truly am going to have something, and no doctor, family member, or myself will believe it -until I die of course.
I read something cute the other day. It said, "eat healthy, exercise regularly, die anways."
Good luck to all of us.

Comments (4470)

April 9, 2008

How can I help?


I've been reading all your pieces and I'm not sure if I'm crossing a line doing this, but I'm coming from the other side - my partner is a hypochondriac - no problem for me, I love him, the only thing is he doesn't know he is.

I didn't realise the severity of it until we moved in together. He was obsessed that he had a heart condition, his father had a massive heart attack when he was 16 and it obviously had a huge impact on him. His obsession manifested itself by the usual doctors visits, consultants, every test under the sun, google research for hours on end, buying home tests for different ailments and taking several tests a day sometimes every few minutes, waking me in the night because he's convinced his heart is beating irregularly, texts, emails and phone calls. When all the tests come back clear he says they can't be relied upon. Then it turned to stomach problems, two people in my immediate family had been having awful problems with severe reflux acid etc. and had needed operations. Then he got gastroentritis (I know I've spelled that wrong) - eureka! there was something wrong - since then we've forgotten about the heart for the most part and are focusing on the stomach. He reads up on the disease/disorder/illness, is adamant he has one or two of the symtoms and then worries himself into sleepless nights and convinces himself that he's the one in a million who doesn't have the 'classic' symptoms. He now thinks he has GERD and within the space of 15 minutes, convinced himself he was short of breath to tie in with the asthma that some suffers can get.

One doctor told him he had OCD and that cognitive therapy would make a difference - he thinks she's nuts. After a few weeks of sleepless nights (from him waking me up with some symptom or another) I ended up in the doctor crying from sheer exhaustion - well that was the diagnosis. The doctor told me to leave him! No way - I know, god forbid, that if I was sick he would look after me - ok so he might decide he has what I have :) and we'd suffer together - but his good generous heart would be there for me to really care for me. I know he is sick and I want to fight this with him, but every time I bring it up we end up fighting. I've tried to bring it up in a serious factual way, light hearted, peppered the conversation with kisses and hugs, got mad myself - sometimes he'll say 'maybe' but most of the time he gets really cross with me and shuts down and that's the worst thing that can happen.

There are those blissful few days sometimes even a week or two where he seems to nearly forget about it, but it always comes back.

My mom says I should ignore it until he stops talking about it - I like to call it the ostrich approach and until you've lived with this you don't understand that it's not a solution.

Please please please tell me what to do to help him. A lot of you seem aware of what you have and I know it's hard, but you seem to be fighting it. If I broke my leg I would go to a doctor to fix it and I just want him to go to a doctor for the right thing. I just need to take the edge off this. Yesterday he emailed me telling me that a burning in his throat was 'sending him over the edge'. He had a battery of hospital exams just weeks ago and everything was clear and all the docs reports have come back clear.

This has been going on for a year now and before that I'm not sure. I feel really guilty writing this behind his back, but I've tried to find someone to help and they all say the same thing - he has to come to them - so how do I get him to do that with an open mind?

How did you know? How did you accept? What made a difference for you? What can those around you do to make it easier?

I'd really appreciate a few moments of your time to hear from you.

Comments (2729)

April 2, 2008

How do you know?

How do you know if you are a hypochondriac? On some level I know that this fits me of all the internet searches I have done on health issues. What's worse is, I am a nurse. Sick, Huh? Not only do I have the internet for ideas, I actually have seen the worst of the worse in my 10 years of nursing. Before being an RN, I was a CNA. I have had a health related career pretty much my whole life. I can take care of other people's health problems, but not my own.......Again, Sick. I never had issues with anxiety gripping my life until about 2 years ago when my long curly red hair started falling out. No, really, it was falling out. It was a particularly stressful time in my life. So I became fixated on my hair falling out, which lead to dizziness, and heart palpitations and numbness and tingling in my arms and legs. Then after my PCP dismissed my symptoms and gave me an antidepressant "because your husband travels, you have 2 kids, and you need it." WoW! I felt I was cracking up. I really though he might be right and tried the antidepressant only to have a HORRIBLE reaction from it. I thought I was surely dying and no one would figure it out until I was dead. But I set up a counseling appointment. Six months into it, they found out I do have a reason for all those symptoms. I was diagnosed with Hashi's Thyroiditis. Great. So they DID find something. Me finding something ended up having my 35 year old sister find out she had Stage 3 Thyroid Cancer. Ok, now I really started freaking out. Now I must have thyroid cancer too. All the testing ensued. I don't have it, although I MAY get it. That came from a Doctor, by the way. So, ever since then, the anxiety issues have stayed with me. I too, as many of you have experienced globus, and choking feelings, and sore throats, and reflux. What the heck? I thought this was a thyroid problem. Now EVERY symptom I have is "a thyroid problem." I don't know what to do with myself. Palpitations near my period, long periods. Again, I am told thyroid related. I AM on thyroid replacement. I AM in the optimal range for thyroid function....So why can't my fat butt lose weight. Oh, yeah, cause everytime I exercise I get heart palpitations. Did I mention that I am 32 years old? I worry all the time, maybe that's my problem. I managed to marry someone who doesn't EVER worry. He left that marital responsibility to me. Remind me to thank him for that before I die. Yeah, I guess I am a hypochondriac. So what, that just means I am smart. I have figured out how to worry about the very thing that I have the most limited control over... MY HEALTH! Oh, yeah, I am obessed about natural remedies. I feel like the pharmaceutical companies are trying to kill us by giving us meds that give us diseases. You all know I just might be right.....So, instead of taking the meds that may help me, I will just continue to experience the VERY REAL and incapacitating symptoms that plague me on a semi regular basis. I did break down the other day and took 1/2 an Ativan for the heart palpitations I was having. Guess what? Either they went away or it tricked my brain into not caring anymore. AMAZING. So now what? Do I start popping Ativan so I can't feel anything anymore. Nah, not my style. Really I think all this manifested because if I died I don't believe that anyone would raise my 2 beautiful boys the way that I would. That is because I really think that my Hypochondria is my OCD manifestation. My psych asked me if I perform any checking habit? WHO ME? No, better yet, WHO doesn't. If they don't they are the ones with the problem. Don't they know that something COULD be wrong with them, and they just don't know it? AHHH, man, ignorance MUST be bliss.........

Thanks for letting me vent..


Comments (3409)


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