The Hypochondria Blog » April 2011

April 24, 2011

Feels Like I am Waiting to Die

Hoping maybe someone can help and let me know I am not alone.

At this point, I am considering the fact that I may be a hypochondriac. I'm 25 years old, married, two children 2 1/2 and 1 1/2, and also three months pregnant.

I'm pretty sure it all started two years ago when I thought I was having a stroke. I had left sided pins and needles, I had every test under the sun, everything came back normal. I actually found out I was pregnant during my hospital stay, so I tossed it up to that. Fast forward to when the baby is born, I am dx with hyperthyroidism. I assumed my chest pain, diff breathing, pins and needles, all that, was bc of my thyroid. I recently, like 3 months ago, had bldwrk done on my thyroid, turns out, it went away. Dx: post partum thyroiditis. Telling me I no longer had hyperthyroidism I think is when things got really bad. I was still exp all these sx with no diagnosis. The past two months I've dx myself with : MS, ALS, brain tumor, brain aneurysm, aortic dissection, pulmonary embolism, heart attack, ectopic pregnancy, oral cancer, melanoma. Just seeing all these silly things here; I am def a hypochondriac.

I can't function, life is passing me by. I worry constantly that I won't be here to watch my children grow up and if I do die, will my husband be able to do it on his own? What he meets someone new and another woman is raising my children? These thoughts are so crazy, but yet so scary to me. I hope to get over them and live my life again! My husband is at the end of his rope, so is the rest of my family. I can't keep putting my family through this, it's affecting them terribly. And I would hate, hate, hate, to see my kids one day develop anxiety like this bc their crazy mother has some sort of mental illness.

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