The Hypochondria Blog » June 2011

June 9, 2011

Younger Hypochondriac

I began worrying that I had diabetes when I was in the sixth grade-about 11 years old.One night I couldn't sleep on the last day of our family vacation, and all of a sudden this seemingly random fear overtook me completely. I constantly, constantly looked up symptoms, wrote in health forums, and read medical books basically to feed my nervous energy. When my sister and my friends would go to any fun hangout like a mall or amusement park, I stayed home shaking and sometimes begged my mom to take me to the local pharmacy to test my urine or get another blood test. When my vision was blurry or i had itchy skin (supposed signs of diabetes), I felt like passing out from fear. Even after months of begging my mom to make an appointment for me at the local clinic, when the day arrived, I broke down and started sobbing and didn't want to go anymore because I was so afraid that I would be diagnosed. The tests came back negative, and my doctor reassured me that I was healthy and diabetes was nothing to worry about--she even said I should gain more weight (I had been avoiding sugar at all costs because of its connection with diabetes).
After that, I went on a trip with my friends and everything seemed to calm down, until about three days passed and I began to wonder if the test had been wrong. What if the doctor had misread my actually positive results and my diabetes got worse undiagnosed?? I imagined the worst possible things until they became reality for me. I couldn't sleep in my own room for the longest time and I followed my mom around constantly even when my friends were over. I became convinced that I had AIDS after my school had national awareness day, cancer after I saw a St. Jude's ad, Parkinson's, Schizophrenia, and anorexia. I even thought for a while that I was or would quickly become addicted to smoking after walking by a couple of smokers. This happened for about a year and a half or two years.
I am better now, although whenever I get nervous and think I am entering in another nervous phase, I write about it and it helps me. Just writing this helped me get a lot off my chest, and anybody with excessive health concerns and hypochondria should try it. Anybody else have a similar story?

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