Health Diaries > The Hypochondria Blog

December 13, 2011

miss

soooo glad I found this site ... I too have just started to get these thoughts im dying worrying about my four kids and leaving them without a mum ... I would say this started about two years ago I sick really sick and assumed the worst thought it was aids (3 negative test so clearly not) the docs kept telling me i was imaging being ill which i wasn't turned out I had strep infection which lead to rheumatic fever ever since I have become obsessed over my health..At the moment i have lower back pain but i had a baby 5 weeks ago so i figure its prob something to do with that also on iron tabs at moment which has made things even worse i now think i have bowel cancer symptoms hey we all know what extra iron can do to the bowels so think its just piles and constipation (sorry too much info lol ) grrrrr so glad im not the only one out there with this problems its horrible actually got a panic attack the other day from thinking on it too much .. been to docs today but back on Friday for my postnatal check up so figure i should tell the doc how i feel then get this crazyness sorted :(

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November 9, 2011

fearful

This is to carolyn n Tammy. I too saw my mother die but I was 25. Every since then I worry about dying and leaving my 3 kids without a mom to take care of them. Every little pain I feel I look it up on d net wish doesnu't help. Now I'm feeling tingling on my left ARM n now I fear I'm going to have a stroke or A heart attack. I have had a nuclear test run, n a ekg everything comes out fine. I am diabetic n have high blood pressure n have chest pains n muscle pains, I too have pcos so when I went for my 3months check up .my liver enzymes were high. I know I'm hyperchondriC :( I just read on d net that this is one of worst disease. Cause it like if we r just waiting to die. I agree with d person who wrote that. Cause every pain.we feel with think we r dying.

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November 9, 2011

This is to carolyn n Tammy. I too saw my mother die but I was 25. Every since then I worry about dying and leaving my 3 kids without a mom to take care of them. Every little pain I feel I look it up on d net wish doesnu't help. Now I'm feeling tingling on my left ARM n now I fear I'm going to have a stroke or A heart attack. I have had a nuclear test run, n a ekg everything comes out fine. I am diabetic n have high blood pressure n have chest pains n muscle pains, I too have pcos so when I went for my 3months check up .my liver enzymes were high. I know I'm hyperchondriC :( I just read on d net that this is one of worst disease. Cause it like if we r just waiting to die. I agree with d person who wrote that. Cause every pain.we feel with think we r dying.

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November 7, 2011

Hi,is it anyone going throughg what im going alright here i go everyday i wake up i think there is something wrong with me if i feel any kind of pain i go to the emergency room they can't find anything i had chest pains once and all the test came back fine, Then one day i went to emegency room thinking i had fluid on my legs because one was larger the other and they didn't find anything wrong and then again about about 6weeks ago i had chest pains again and that didn't find anything again, so im thinking im going throught menopause because im 48 yrs old things r changes with my body im so tired of thinking im going to die, i try to keep busy, But it does not last. I don't know what triggered this behavior i just need someone that can relate to what im going through to just respond i feel like im losing my mind please help carolyn.

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September 15, 2011

This is in reply to Tammy..Hun you posted that you lost your mother when you were 11. I lost mine at 14. I just want you to know that I am exactly, EXACTLY like you are. I think that our hypochondria goes back to losing our mothers at a young age. Now that we have children of our own we fear that something may go wrong and we will not be able to be there for them.

I understand you completely hun. I would advise you to at least try a course of medication because it really does help. I was getting continual urges to check myself all throughout the day for lumps etc..The meds have kind of calmed the urges a little plus it is really important to get help for the depression that can also happen with this mental illness that we have. The depression can be debilitating at times I know. I have the same fears about medication that you do as well, but really, I don't feel like I have any choice BUT to take it at the moment..Life is too hard without it.

Please do take care ok and IF you can get some counselling too then please consider doing so..It all helps..xxx

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August 31, 2011

please help

Hi my name is Tammy im 28 years old. I lost my mother when I was 11 and she was all I had. I now have 4 children and one on the way. Every since my first child I had a great fear of dying, I would get anxiety attacks from it. I seems like with each child it gets worse. Im constantly thanking there is something wrong with me. I recently had a pain in my leg and automaticly thought bone cancer. Was crying and praying, very stressed. The computer dont help any when I get a sympton Ill put it in and usually cancer comes up and ill think im dying. I have watched so many people die the last few years it scares me. Also my childrens father is worthless and I fear if something happened to me what would happen to them. I smoked for 12 years and guit almost 2 years ago in fear of lung cancer. Thats a good thing. Im constatly worring about myself and my children myself more. I want it to stop, im tired of being stressed all the time. Very afraid to take medication in fear of side affects. Worry that taking a medication for a long period of time will cause cancer as well.

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July 12, 2011

Teen hypocondriac

I had my tonsils out when i was 10 and ended up loosing alot of blood & staying in the hospital alot..after that i worried constantly that something bad would happen to me i was always scared that i would get some type of illness like cancer. It went away after a while and i didnt worry anymore. Now im 15 and the past month ive been constantly getting myself convinced i have appendicitis im always worrying ill get it & ill convince myself into thinking my side hurts. This mostly happens at night when i try to relax and go to sleep & it prevents me of doing so. Even though i know i am fine i still worry constantly & its driving me crazy & preventing me from living a normal teenage life.

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July 9, 2011

Help

im 17 year old and have been throw so many things i had to see my brother only 23 slowly die of cancer after his death nothing went right, my mom takes lexapro and so many other pills for her stress.
i had my first panic attack one night i thought i was dying i feel to the floor they spilled cold water and me and everything i was taken to the er because people thought i was having a heart attack so did i. but now i cant function everything goes wrong. i have thought i had cancer for ever i thought i had aids, stomach cancer breast tumor diabetes skin cancer.. everything there can be wrong now i have a cold and i think im dying can someone please help me.

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April 24, 2011

Feels Like I am Waiting to Die

Hoping maybe someone can help and let me know I am not alone.

At this point, I am considering the fact that I may be a hypochondriac. I'm 25 years old, married, two children 2 1/2 and 1 1/2, and also three months pregnant.

I'm pretty sure it all started two years ago when I thought I was having a stroke. I had left sided pins and needles, I had every test under the sun, everything came back normal. I actually found out I was pregnant during my hospital stay, so I tossed it up to that. Fast forward to when the baby is born, I am dx with hyperthyroidism. I assumed my chest pain, diff breathing, pins and needles, all that, was bc of my thyroid. I recently, like 3 months ago, had bldwrk done on my thyroid, turns out, it went away. Dx: post partum thyroiditis. Telling me I no longer had hyperthyroidism I think is when things got really bad. I was still exp all these sx with no diagnosis. The past two months I've dx myself with : MS, ALS, brain tumor, brain aneurysm, aortic dissection, pulmonary embolism, heart attack, ectopic pregnancy, oral cancer, melanoma. Just seeing all these silly things here; I am def a hypochondriac.

I can't function, life is passing me by. I worry constantly that I won't be here to watch my children grow up and if I do die, will my husband be able to do it on his own? What he meets someone new and another woman is raising my children? These thoughts are so crazy, but yet so scary to me. I hope to get over them and live my life again! My husband is at the end of his rope, so is the rest of my family. I can't keep putting my family through this, it's affecting them terribly. And I would hate, hate, hate, to see my kids one day develop anxiety like this bc their crazy mother has some sort of mental illness.

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February 21, 2011

first time

Hi there. Im a 23 year old male, i have for about the past year and a half - two years now had a constant fear of some wild illness or sudden death, just recently I have tried seeking constant reassurance from family and friends but of course that wasnt helping. Recently i had my first ever kidney stone and being poor i am uninsured. I did however go to the hospital and was given a clean bill other than a slight UTI caused by the stone. But i still cant stop. Although the clean bill has helped me to more easily control my anxiety. Some days i can even laugh at myself for the absurd notions ive been having but I havnt been able to stop them. this is how ive come to believe i am a hypochondriac. I am hoping that talking with others will provide me with some tips. I do plan on as soon as i can afford it seeing a therapist or someone. as this is all relatively new territory for me i hope that i can help others just as you may be able to help me...Thank you

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February 9, 2011

41 Year Old Hypochondriac

I am a 41 year old male, married to a great lady and have 3 wonderful children under age 10. I have a great career and a strong extended family. I have always been a bit obsessive about my health but the last 2 years have taken me down a dark road where I am in almost daily worry. I know exactly what the root of the problem is: Simply put: Now that I have crossed 40, I have convinced myself that I am more succeptible to disease and I am especially worried about dying and leaving my wife and 3 small children behind. My mind has gone into overdrive thinking of all the terrible things laying in wait to attack me. In the last 2 years I have worried most about getting cancer. Brain tumors, pancreatic cancer, stomach cancer, melanomas, throat cancer, colon cancer, etc. I am living in a daily world of hyper sensitivity to the way my body feels. I can only count a few days where I actually feel good. Here's the odd part: I am at my most relaxed when I am actually sick. I have had a couple colds over the past year and actually have a overwhelmiing sense of peace when my body is actually ill. It's mentally exhausting to conjour up all the terrible symtpoms I may be experiencinig. When I actually have something real it's like my mind relaxes. I know how this all began: I remember watchign the story of Randy Pauch...that guy that wrote "The Last Lecture". He was in his late 40's and had small kids. He died of pancreatic cancer. It terrified me that a guy in his prime could be cut down and his young family devastated. Since that time, I've been a wreck. I wish I could get my old life back.

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November 29, 2010

I Am a Hypochondriac!

I am a 44 year-old woman with hypochondria. I have a history of good health, save for hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) and allergies, which are controlled with medications.

I have the classic symptoms of hypochondria:

I imagine serious illness. If it's a cold, I think "cancer" and come up with reasons as to why cancer should manifest itself as a cold.

I am obsessive about my body. I check my skin for bumps and spots and think, "I have melanoma," when I've never had it (and don't fall into the risk category for it) and have even been to a dermatologist for a full body check to stave my anxieties.

I research "symptoms" online. My doctor warned me against this and said, "You're not a doctor, are you?" When I replied I wasn't, she said, "You pay me to do my job so that you don't have to do it, right? Stop looking up symptoms."

Once I have my annual check-up, which includes a mammogram, EKG, bloodwork and a pap smear, I am okay for a period of time (It can be a month or more, perhaps), but then I start thinking either they missed something or I got sick AFTER my check-up and now I'll have to go an entire year and perhaps there's a disease that is eating me up alive in the interim.

I note strange sensations that I can't even describe. I just don't feel right. It's nothing but my mind fixating on an itch or maybe my arm having fallen asleep because I've been sleeping on it for the past eight hours. I immediately think, "MS" or something equally devasting.

Even the ads to the left here give me anxiety: "Minimally invasive surgery...." "The strength to fight," etc. What kind of ads are those for a blog about hypochondria! Kind of amusing.

Anyway, something that's really, really helped me, that's been groundbreaking in a way, has been 1) My ability to find something amusing about my hypochondria (See my name- Hypo Marx.) AND 2) The realization that nothing is wrong with me except for hypochondria! I say to myself that I do have something really wrong with me, that's causing me undue stress and anxiety and that is hypochondria. This takes the pressure off of that other sector of my brain that is saying, "There's something wrong with you. What is it?" I can now say it out loud and say it to myself: I have hypochondria.

I hope this helps.

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October 25, 2010

never get over, just learn to live.

Hi,im Amie, im 25 years old,and i have had anxiety panic attackts for three years now,one night believe it or not it was the night before halloween, i had the most painful chest pains, the type you think you are going to die from, pain in my face, jaw, left arm, pins and needles, all sorts, i shouted my mom,and asked her to hold me thinking i was going to die, it slowly past and for the next two weeks i was in hell, my mom convinced it was a panic attack, as did my boyfriend and the rest of my family, now i was convinced it was a heartattack, it took me 4months to go to the doctor, itwas my worst xmas ever, ive had a ECG at the hospital and got the all clear, now on tabs for bloodpressure and depression,still not well, still get the chest pains, ill never get over this, but just learn to live, sorry 4 long txt, if any one out there needs someone to talk to drop me a email,Amiejo1@hotmail.com, or maybe someone could help me thanks, Amie xx

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October 25, 2010

never get over, just learn to live.

Hi,im Amie, im 25 years old,and i have had anxiety panic attackts for three years now,one night believe it or not it was the night before halloween, i had the most painful chest pains, the type you think you are going to die from, pain in my face, jaw, left arm, pins and needles, all sorts, i shouted my mom,and asked her to hold me thinking i was going to die, it slowly past and for the next two weeks i was in hell, my mom convinced it was a panic attack, as did my boyfriend and the rest of my family, now i was convinced it was a heartattack, it took me 4months to go to the doctor, itwas my worst xmas ever, ive had a ECG at the hospital and got the all clear, now on tabs for bloodpressure and depression,still not well, still get the chest pains, ill never get over this, but just learn to live, sorry 4 long txt, if any one out there needs someone to talk to drop me a email,Amiejo1@hotmail.com, or maybe someone could help me thanks, Amie xx

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October 24, 2010

Very afraid

Well i have been a hypochondriac for as long as i can remember. Im 19 years old and it is really ruining my life. So my main hypochondria is HIV, and it is really ruining my life. So the first time i had hypochondria about it was when i quit smoking for the first time and that lasted for a few month until i replased and started smoking again. Now i'm hardly ever sick and the only time when i get hypochondria about Hiv is when i quit smoking. So i quit smoking again two months ago and now it has come back. I started getting dry mouth and i dont know why and when i looked it up on the internet it said HIV could be why and ever since then its been constant fear and worry. Im very afraid to go to the doctors to check and im just afraid all around. i really need some support

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October 2, 2010

i've recently had very bad aches and cramps. i fear that this may be due to some sort of cancer in my abdominal region.
i've been so focused on my cancer that i stopped caring about everyone and i'm pretty sure that this is because i am a sociopath.
my mind is always racing so i can't sleep, which happens because i just now that i have insomnia.
sometimes i shiver when i get chilly. definitely tourettes.
i then started making a list of all of the diseases that i for sure have, and diagnosed myself as a hypochondriac.

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August 17, 2010

I’m writing this for maybe no other reason than to get out all my neuroses onto paper (so to speak) and maybe that will allow me to relieve some of the insanity I’ve been torturing myself with.

I lost my father at the end of 2008 after a 3-year long battle with lymphoma. My sister and mother told me that his cancer was hereditary (his sister passed away from breast cancer in 1989). Since then I’ve felt like some sort of time bomb.

Over the last 2 years I’ve been getting more and more paranoid about my health. I’m 33 years old, overweight, a type 2 diabetic, and have high blood pressure. It’s all due to unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise (I don’t smoke or drink). The insane part is that I know I need to get healthier and for a while, before my Dad passed away, I was on a good track. But I didn’t manage grieving well and it threw me into a tailspin, as I was already dealing with depression at the time. I will not make the excuse that I was “too sad to take care of myself”, but unfortunately, slobbing out is my most frequent avenue of escape.

Compounding the problem is the fact that any unusual symptom throws me into utter panic. Stripe on my nail? It’s got to be melanoma. Lump on my ribs? Liposarcoma. A little wheezy during non-cold season? Lung cancer. Panic attack? Heart attack. In each of the situations described I consulted my physician and he advised me I was fine and that I needed to stop “giving myself diseases”. But I don’t know how to stop panicking

More than anything I’m terrified of cancer. Mainly because it seems there’s no way to really protect yourself against it- even getting healthy doesn’t seem to be a guarantee. You could just GET IT and most of the time if you get it, that’s it. You’ll linger for years as you slowly wither in front of the people you love and all your dreams and the plans you had for your life just became meaningless.

It’s the latter part I think scares me the most. I have so much I want to do. I love my wife and want to have kids, raise a family with her, maybe make a difference while I’m here. The thought of leaving her behind, the thought of leaving her alone and the life we’ve shared together just becoming memories fills me with this echoing sadness that sometimes paralyzes me.

It’s extended beyond me now. Anytime someone close to me tells me they’re seeing a doctor or that they’re worried about something, I start to panic. Any time I get a phone call at an unusual hour I keep freaking out. My family has made it know that they don’t tell me some things now because I keep freaking out.

I don’t know how to stop being this way. I keep thinking one day I’ll just have an epiphany and just snap out of it. But I don’t think that’s realistic. I am going to start seeing a counselor but I don’t know how that’s going to help me.

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July 27, 2010

Living With a Hypochondriac

After more than 20 years of living with a hypochondriac, I am at the end of my rope. Just weeks after burying my father who had died from an excruciating battle with stomach cancer, my husband began believing that he had cancer, and no amount of medical testing can convince him that his acid reflux will not eventually kill him. This has been going on for over six months, and I really don't know what to do. While he recognizes that he has an anxiety disorder, he refuses to go to treatment saying that his type of anxiety is "the worst" and therapy can't help him. I love my husband dearly, but after seeing my father die of real cancer, my husband's imaginary cancer is just too hard for me to handle. He has imagined he had cancer many times over the years (skin, testicular, prostate...), but each time he gets over his cancer scare just seems to lead him to some other issue. Advice?

Comments (2581)

July 2, 2010

Fear

I am worried always, right now I am worried about cancer. Though i am 26, from pretty stellar genetic stock, and I know it isn't a very likely scenario, i still worry. (Funny, our family doesn't have a lot of illness, but it DOES come jam-packed with anxiety problems.)

I make up scenarios in my head, and connect small symptoms that are probably nothing, and I make myself believe it IS something. I obsess, I turn my life inside out and upside down and ruin everything. I jsut want it to stop.

Sometimes, I like to say this to myself, it offers some comfort:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Comments (2583)

July 2, 2010

Total Anxiety

A few months ago I had post nasal drip and it was hard to talk. I go to the doc and meds are prescribed but they don't help. I feel like at times something is in my throat. Eventually, I tried to put another symptom in the mix muscle tension in face and go on line to Symptom Check. Mistake! Of couse they have all kinds of terrfing conditions. So now I think I have cancer. So I go to my doc and she reminds that the facial senstions are from my anxiety and I don't have cancer. I trust her explicetly. But I can't stop obsessing. I had been diognosed with OCD and GAD several years ago and they proscribe Celexa and it helped. But several monts ago I did not like the side effects and slowly stopped it and it has been about 5 days. What is so wierd is othr then my throat I feel great. Can anyone offer any advice or encouragment? I am so glad I have a place to vent. As may of you may know, most people don't understand and think your exagerating. Thanks for reading. Paul

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May 4, 2010

mrs.

I AM A SEVERE HYPOCHONDRIAC. Every day its something new.Currently Im convinced I have liver disease. I woke up this morning with a wierd feeling just below my right side rib cage. Its like pressure, just in that one spot. It really only bothered me when i would cough, but after spending the better part of the day on the computer now I feel it at all times and my chest feels full. I am always worried about my liver because I take 1 lortab everyday for back problems. Speaking of which now I feel pain in my back too. I am driving my whole family nuts. Last week I had kidney disease, because i read somewhere if your urine bubbles you could have kidney disease. Needless to say, I went to the bathroom and closely inspected my urine and low and behold, mine had bubbles. Ive had every disease you can think of. blood clots, stroke, heart attack, lymphoma, hiv, ms, liver and kidney failure. Its rediculous. I've taken antidepressants, and xanex, but nothing helps. I really dont know what to do anymore. I feel like the most selfish person on earth. Im afraid this obsessive behavior is going to make my kids the same way. Anyway, sorry for the rant, I guess I just needed to let it out.

Comments (3001)

May 4, 2010

mrs.

I AM A SEVERE HYPOCHONDRIAC. Every day its something new.Currently Im convinced I have liver disease. I woke up this morning with a wierd feeling just below my right side rib cage. Its like pressure, just in that one spot. It really only bothered me when i would cough, but after spending the better part of the day on the computer now I feel it at all times and my chest feels full. I am always worried about my liver because I take 1 lortab everyday for back problems. Speaking of which now I feel pain in my back too. I am driving my whole family nuts. Last week I had kidney disease, because i read somewhere if your urine bubbles you could have kidney disease. Needless to say, I went to the bathroom and closely inspected my urine and low and behold, mine had bubbles. Ive had every disease you can think of. blood clots, stroke, heart attack, lymphoma, hiv, ms, liver and kidney failure. Its rediculous. I've taken antidepressants, and xanex, but nothing helps. I really dont know what to do anymore. I feel like the most selfish person on earth. Im afraid this obsessive behavior is going to make my kids the same way. Anyway, sorry for the rant, I guess I just needed to let it out.

Comments (0)

May 4, 2010

mrs.

I AM A SEVERE HYPOCHONDRIAC. Every day its something new.Currently Im convinced I have liver disease. I woke up this morning with a wierd feeling just below my right side rib cage. Its like pressure, just in that one spot. It really only bothered me when i would cough, but after spending the better part of the day on the computer now I feel it at all times and my chest feels full. I am always worried about my liver because I take 1 lortab everyday for back problems. Speaking of which now I feel pain in my back too. I am driving my whole family nuts. Last week I had kidney disease, because i read somewhere if your urine bubbles you could have kidney disease. Needless to say, I went to the bathroom and closely inspected my urine and low and behold, mine had bubbles. Ive had every disease you can think of. blood clots, stroke, heart attack, lymphoma, hiv, ms, liver and kidney failure. Its rediculous. I've taken antidepressants, and xanex, but nothing helps. I really dont know what to do anymore. I feel like the most selfish person on earth. Im afraid this obsessive behavior is going to make my kids the same way. Anyway, sorry for the rant, I guess I just needed to let it out.

Comments (0)

April 27, 2010

I am goin insane wit this !!

reading all these posts are comforting to know i am not alone.

i am 21 years old and i dont know why but over the last year i have somehow become a total hypocondriac. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ocd since i was about 14, but i have never worried about my health like this.

i have had panic attacks here and there over the years but the last few months i am having them more and more and for about 1 week in febuary i was getting these weird attacks where i literally felt like i was suffocating for hours at a time, so after a week of that i fianlly went to the ER. i also asked for a ct scan because i had a pain in my head on and off for a yr and thought i was dying from a brain tumor. the results came back that nothing was wrong and all he said was it was because of aniexty. after that i didnt really have any of those panic attacks anymore until the last week. it happened about 2 times this week and idk why its starting again.

also, last week i woke up and for no reason my left leg felt sore, like a charlie horse or sore muscle, yet i did nothing for it to feel like that. i automatically thought i had some sort of blood clot and was dying or going to have a heart attack. i thought i was going to have to get my leg amputated or something. CRAZY i know. on the outside people probably think im this normal girl, but if they only knew what is going on in my head they would think i am psychotic, which obviously i am becoming.

the muscle soreness then started in my right leg too..but it stopped after about 3 days. but now my left leg has this little pain in it, i cant really explain it, it just feels uncomfortable, and once again im nervous i have a blood clot that is all of a sudden gonna kill me or something. idk if the pain is real or its jus happenein because im overthinking it.

also my right hand hurts sometimes when i wake up. my mom said its prob cuz i text too much, but i know alot of ppl who text way more than me. im also a hair dresser and i use my hands alot, and im like omg i have carpel tunnel syndrome. my career is gonna be over..

i cannot take it!!!! also, my eyes were hurting and i went to the eye dr for a checkup and he didnt say anything was wrong with my eyes.

every single thing wrong with me i think im dying, going blind, going deaf, having a heart attack, etc..

i also gained weight over the last yr and my blood pressure got a little high. im only 21 , but high blood pressure runs in my family and although i know once i lose the weight it will prob go back to normal again i cant help but worry im gonna have heart disease wen im like 40 yrs old.

and as i said before since my leg hurts im like omg maybe its because i gained weight and my veins are getting clogged or something..

I CANNOT TAKE THIS!!!!!!!! i fianlly got insurance after not having it for 3 years so i plan on going to some doctors but at the same time im embarrsed to complain about every single pain and im also scared to go cuz i dont even wanna find out if something is wrong. i cant take it. i just want to live a normal life and not worry about dying..

at the hospital the doctor even told me my oxygen levels are fine, my hearts good, and im gonna live a long healthy life...yet i am still freaking out...my mom reassures me all the time im gonna be fine especialy since the doctor even said it, but then i tell myself..well he only checked my head wit the ct scan and did xrays of my chest..he didnt look @ my legs or back so he could have missed any blood clots or cancers from my waist down. isnt that fucked up??! im losing it!!!

Comments (1403)

April 27, 2010

I am goin insane wit this !!

reading all these posts are comforting to know i am not alone.

i am 21 years old and i dont know why but over the last year i have somehow become a total hypocondriac. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ocd since i was about 14, but i have never worried about my health like this.

i have had panic attacks here and there over the years but the last few months i am having them more and more and for about 1 week in febuary i was getting these weird attacks where i literally felt like i was suffocating for hours at a time, so after a week of that i fianlly went to the ER. i also asked for a ct scan because i had a pain in my head on and off for a yr and thought i was dying from a brain tumor. the results came back that nothing was wrong and all he said was it was because of aniexty. after that i didnt really have any of those panic attacks anymore until the last week. it happened about 2 times this week and idk why its starting again.

also, last week i woke up and for no reason my left leg felt sore, like a charlie horse or sore muscle, yet i did nothing for it to feel like that. i automatically thought i had some sort of blood clot and was dying or going to have a heart attack. i thought i was going to have to get my leg amputated or something. CRAZY i know. on the outside people probably think im this normal girl, but if they only knew what is going on in my head they would think i am psychotic, which obviously i am becoming.

the muscle soreness then started in my right leg too..but it stopped after about 3 days. but now my left leg has this little pain in it, i cant really explain it, it just feels uncomfortable, and once again im nervous i have a blood clot that is all of a sudden gonna kill me or something. idk if the pain is real or its jus happenein because im overthinking it.

also my right hand hurts sometimes when i wake up. my mom said its prob cuz i text too much, but i know alot of ppl who text way more than me. im also a hair dresser and i use my hands alot, and im like omg i have carpel tunnel syndrome. my career is gonna be over..

i cannot take it!!!! also, my eyes were hurting and i went to the eye dr for a checkup and he didnt say anything was wrong with my eyes.

every single thing wrong with me i think im dying, going blind, going deaf, having a heart attack, etc..

i also gained weight over the last yr and my blood pressure got a little high. im only 21 , but high blood pressure runs in my family and although i know once i lose the weight it will prob go back to normal again i cant help but worry im gonna have heart disease wen im like 40 yrs old.

and as i said before since my leg hurts im like omg maybe its because i gained weight and my veins are getting clogged or something..

I CANNOT TAKE THIS!!!!!!!! i fianlly got insurance after not having it for 3 years so i plan on going to some doctors but at the same time im embarrsed to complain about every single pain and im also scared to go cuz i dont even wanna find out if something is wrong. i cant take it. i just want to live a normal life and not worry about dying..

at the hospital the doctor even told me my oxygen levels are fine, my hearts good, and im gonna live a long healthy life...yet i am still freaking out...my mom reassures me all the time im gonna be fine especialy since the doctor even said it, but then i tell myself..well he only checked my head wit the ct scan and did xrays of my chest..he didnt look @ my legs or back so he could have missed any blood clots or cancers from my waist down. isnt that fucked up??! im losing it!!!

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April 27, 2010

I am goin insane wit this !!

reading all these posts are comforting to know i am not alone.

i am 21 years old and i dont know why but over the last year i have somehow become a total hypocondriac. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ocd since i was about 14, but i have never worried about my health like this.

i have had panic attacks here and there over the years but the last few months i am having them more and more and for about 1 week in febuary i was getting these weird attacks where i literally felt like i was suffocating for hours at a time, so after a week of that i fianlly went to the ER. i also asked for a ct scan because i had a pain in my head on and off for a yr and thought i was dying from a brain tumor. the results came back that nothing was wrong and all he said was it was because of aniexty. after that i didnt really have any of those panic attacks anymore until the last week. it happened about 2 times this week and idk why its starting again.

also, last week i woke up and for no reason my left leg felt sore, like a charlie horse or sore muscle, yet i did nothing for it to feel like that. i automatically thought i had some sort of blood clot and was dying or going to have a heart attack. i thought i was going to have to get my leg amputated or something. CRAZY i know. on the outside people probably think im this normal girl, but if they only knew what is going on in my head they would think i am psychotic, which obviously i am becoming.

the muscle soreness then started in my right leg too..but it stopped after about 3 days. but now my left leg has this little pain in it, i cant really explain it, it just feels uncomfortable, and once again im nervous i have a blood clot that is all of a sudden gonna kill me or something. idk if the pain is real or its jus happenein because im overthinking it.

also my right hand hurts sometimes when i wake up. my mom said its prob cuz i text too much, but i know alot of ppl who text way more than me. im also a hair dresser and i use my hands alot, and im like omg i have carpel tunnel syndrome. my career is gonna be over..

i cannot take it!!!! also, my eyes were hurting and i went to the eye dr for a checkup and he didnt say anything was wrong with my eyes.

every single thing wrong with me i think im dying, going blind, going deaf, having a heart attack, etc..

i also gained weight over the last yr and my blood pressure got a little high. im only 21 , but high blood pressure runs in my family and although i know once i lose the weight it will prob go back to normal again i cant help but worry im gonna have heart disease wen im like 40 yrs old.

and as i said before since my leg hurts im like omg maybe its because i gained weight and my veins are getting clogged or something..

I CANNOT TAKE THIS!!!!!!!! i fianlly got insurance after not having it for 3 years so i plan on going to some doctors but at the same time im embarrsed to complain about every single pain and im also scared to go cuz i dont even wanna find out if something is wrong. i cant take it. i just want to live a normal life and not worry about dying..

at the hospital the doctor even told me my oxygen levels are fine, my hearts good, and im gonna live a long healthy life...yet i am still freaking out...my mom reassures me all the time im gonna be fine especialy since the doctor even said it, but then i tell myself..well he only checked my head wit the ct scan and did xrays of my chest..he didnt look @ my legs or back so he could have missed any blood clots or cancers from my waist down. isnt that fucked up??! im losing it!!!

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January 17, 2010

So im an 18 year old girl. When i was a young girl i would constantly check the doors to see if they were locked, constantly checking on my cats. i knew i had OCD. it got easier when i grew older i stopped caring and starting partying. but now after 5 years of partying and calming down, I always think something is wrong with me. i have had 2 very unexpected experiances that has changed me and lead me to think the worse and think the worse is wrong with me. Every time i have a cough i know i just have the swine flu. I go on the internet and check over the symptoms over and over again. I ALWAYS wash my hands and can hardly touch door handles or light switches or anything dirty for that matter. I wish there is just something I could do to still know i am healthy and to just quit worrying. i never learned of my disease until about 5 people in the same week told me i was a hypochondriac and i wish i could just chill out!!

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November 26, 2009

Help me!

If anyone could help me out it would be much appreciated, and SORRY FOR THE ESSAY :p

I think that I may have hypochondria, I'm a 17 year old girl and I am constantly preoccupied with thoughts that I am seriously ill and something bad is going to happen.

I think that I first began to believe this after I had a 'serious' pain in my chest one night. I was convinced that I was having a heart attack and was going to die there and then. I then began to obsess constantly about my health. Next I had sharp pains in my head for a few days and thought that I had a brain tumour, however, the pain disappeared after while after many sleepless nights.

In the last few years, several illnesses have came and gone, I believed I had ovarian or cervical cancer for several months after having a stomach ache. I read about chlamydia and other diseases and saw syphilis symptoms on TV and was convinced I had the symptoms, checking my eyes, etc...despite not ever having sexual intercourse. My fear is now AIDS, my brother had shingles and I did not fear getting them until I read that people with AIDS could get them, then pains and tingles and itches began. I now spend much of my time poking and prodding my belly to feel if my liver feels tender and worrying that my immune system is shutting down after 2 colds in 2 months.

I used to be ill when I was a little girl and vomitted every night, doctors could not diagnose what was wrong with me at first but this turned out to be due to high anxiety.

I'm just terrified that I'm really ill and need answers, I am too scared to see a doctor in case I get bad news, I can't do normal things and my life is being ruined

what do I do?!

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November 24, 2009

I am the daughter of a hypochondriac. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. My mom announced to me last year that she had MS. Twice. When the first round of doctors told her she was fine, she doctor shopped for a second team of doctors who eventually also told her she was fine. At that time, because there had been a long history prior to that, I finally told her she should see a psychiatrist. She agreed and then never went. This weekend, she claimed chest pains. Her stress test turned out fine but because she continued to complain and the doctors didn't know they were dealing with a hypochondriac, they cathaterized (sp?) her. They found nothing. I can't take how she puts herself at risk with these unnecessary procedures any more. Any suggestions?

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November 6, 2009

I am 24 years old male and I have just discovered that I am hypochondriac by searching the internet the sypmtomes really matches me, I have been always worried about my health, it is like I want to convience myself that I have a disease and if I became sure that I am free for a certain disease I tend to search for another illness to worry about,it started when i was a kid i once watched a tv program about diabetes syptomes and i immediately got convienced that I have diabetes, I even forced my dad to make a test for me, another time I forced my mum to take me to ent doctor because i thought i have some problems in hearing! i even tried to imagine that I dont hear well! when i became older by 21 it became more severe, I thought i have high blood pressure, and I went to check it, another time I thought I have virus c then I went to make the test and I was fine, another time I thought I had HIV just because i used to have an unprotected sex with my girl friend although she is absolutely fine and I am 100% sure she is ok, I went to make the test from 2 months it was negative but I thought the lab is not good I mean they didnt make the test correctly, it was like i was unhappy with the result its like I wanted to be HIV postive, I even thought of doing the test again, I keep imagining the illness and the consquences of having such disease how it will affect my life, sometimes I imagine that I will die in a terrible car accedient that is going to crash my body, another time I thought I have erctile dysfunction and a heart disease,another big story when I thought that I have infertility so I kept imagining that I will never get a baby so I went and lied to a doctor and told him I am getting married so that he can help me to do the test,I gave to the lab really terrible semen sample so the results were infertility postive! instead of re doing the test I harried to a doctor and I didnt tell him that i suspect that the test is wrong! I think I made him gave me medications which exactly what I wanted! after some time i decided to make the test again and this time I gave a good sample to the lab, the result was that I was fine! and my fertility is really great, I have a great job, great family, everything is great in my life except in dealing with this problem, I become to feel that I am not allowed to have fun... everytime I start to have fun, the thoughts of being ill cross to my mind and it successfully puts me in a depressed/sad mood again, i really paid a lot of money for the doctors, medical tests, big waste of money especially I am young I should not be thinking of heart disease at this age!! but now after knewing I have hpochondria I will try to search for psychiatrist. I never shared what I have just said with anyone, i think i was embarressed that is why I used to keep it to myself

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September 19, 2009

A Hypochondriac

Hey all, I have found a interesting site on hypochondria, it is called Hypochondriac's Relief and it seems to be a site geared toward positive stories and a forum for hypochondriac's to write back and forth. I think its a good resource. You can find the site at www.HypoRelief.com

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September 2, 2009

literally worried to death.

hypochondria is ruinin my life. illness is literally on my mind the moment i wake up to the moment i go to sleep. everything i do during the day i imagine what it will be like doing it when im ill. im terrified of going to doctors and learning about symptoms, yet i cant help but do them. i feel physically ill from the anxiety and that only makes things worse. its been like this for two years and its only getting more severe. im only eighteen years old. i even worry that worrying will kill me. if you have any advice please help me. im dying, and im not even sick.


side note...
even going to this website to reassure myself that im just a hypochondriac. all i can look at are the "health risk" google ads on the side of the screen.

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August 16, 2009

ma

My friend is a true hypochondriac. She has every disease for which there is no no medical verification, only a list of symptoms. She is elderly. Her health is better than most her age, and so they are intolerant of her. But she does feel terrible. No arthritis, no blood disorders, no gerd. Just feels terrible and sleeps all the time. Goes to psychiatrist every week. How do I help her? I am the only one left who will listen to her, and I feel like I am feeding into it. Any suggestions? Her feeling bad is truly real. But it is hell on all around her.

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May 6, 2009

My story

I haven't always been like this. When I was 17 I had unprotected sex one time and got an STD. Suddenly I realized I was not invincible. I became obsessed with my sexual health, constantly making up symptoms in my head that didn't exist. It would consume me for hours at a time.
This went on for a few years, then I seemed to get better for a few. I would occassionally have my obsessive moments, but they were few and far between. It seems like the last couple of years it has come back and gotten worst. Now it isn't just sexual health, it is everything. I've had a small, odd-shaped freckle on my chest for years. I found myself spending hours looking at skin cancer pictures on the internet the other day. This morning I woke up with a sore throat and I read about swine flu for a few hours.
We got a dog a few months ago, and everytime she makes an odd noise or does something I am not familiar with, I am googling it and convincing myself she has all sorts of things.
The thing is... I know it's crazy and I know that odds are I don't have any of this stuff. I get lost on webmd, but when I stop and think about it, I realize how ridiculous and sick it is, but I cannot stop. And my feelings about illnesses have changed. When I first started being like this, I was more intrigued. Now I am really frightened of becoming seriously ill. I think I always thought that people with hypochondria weren't aware of their illness, but I am completely aware of how irrational I get. Is that possible?
I don't have health insurance, and I am probably the only person in the world that thinks that might just be a blessing. Otherwise I would probably be at the doctor once a week.
The worst is that I hide it from everyone. When the urge does overtake me and I go to the doctor anyway, I don't tell anyone. I don't tell my boyfriend that I can get obsessed and spend hours researching symptoms and convince myself I am dying. I am living with this secret paranoid obsession and I know it is crazy. I am an intelligent person. I have overcome a lot in my life. But, I think I am a hypochondriac.

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March 27, 2009

Is this it?

I have probably been concerned about my health for as long as I can remember. I almost can't bear to think how many hours I have spent pondering over what is wrong with me. When I am in one of my anxious periods it is almost unbearable. Anxiety attacks, hours browsing the web and health books together with imagining how I am going to cope with the illness, outcome etc dominate the weeks until I can seek reassurance that I am not at that time actually suffering from the condition that I am most confinced I have. What is probably most comical is although I sort of believe I don't have the illness which has preoccupied me for so long I then worry that the amount of time I have spent worrying about it has probably started the ball rolling and I am just about to get the illness! I know it sounds madness when all around me other people are actually being ill and experiencing the horror of really coping but I just don't seem to be able to completely stop the process.

Anyway I just thought this may ring bells.

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March 17, 2009

I have hypochondria

hypochionjdria is so gay and i have it cuz when i get kicked in the head im like "FUCK I GOT BRAIN TUMOR" but really i just got kicked in the head and it hurts but i think i have a brain tumor. when i went to school yesterday im okay but when im alone in my room and i have a stomachache im like "FUCK I GOT STOMACH ULCERS OH SHIT" and then i drink a bunch of drain-o but it doesnt help it only makes me feel worse it makes me puke and then im like "OH SHIT I GOT BULIMIA OR MAYBE ANOREIXA!" so then i dont eat for like six days but then when i faint i get up and go eat a cheeseburger and im like "OH YEAH THATS GOOD"

So thats the story of my life.

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January 11, 2009

Going crazy & could use advice

I have a neighbor who admits to and seems to have several health issues that I believe are legitimate, such as: IBS, allergies, and anxiety and/or OCD.

She spends a lot of time obsessing about her and her child's health, their in take and out take, making doctor appointments, having CTs and ultrasounds, etc. The slightest twinge or rash, it seems like she runs to the doctor. She has her own gastroenterologist, which I understand, her own dermatologist, religiously is on time for all yearly exams and some in between with each new pain.

I do feel she has OCD because her e-mails are extremely long to me detailing her health concerns and usually always mentions some 'horrible' level of stress she's under. I have to be very careful in our phone conversations and the topics discussed or our phone conversations could go on for literally hours if I do not initiate an end to the conversation.

To me, these situations are far from horrible, but I respect that everyone's concerns and levels of tolerance to stress are different.

She is a mother to a 3-year-old, and now she admits to me that she does not take her child outside much, especially between 11 and 3 because she is afraid of sun damage. I had wondered because I don't see them outside much at all. She actually seems to wait until her husband is home to take her child outside, which is ridiculous.

She socializes very little, does not attend any sort of group activities for children, does not allow her child to spend much time with her local grandparents,

She is overweight but is doing her best to lose the excess with healthy eating. Of course now I hear about every ache and pain now that her IB is acting up because of it.

We do enjoy each other's friendship. We do each other favors, with me actually doing more for her, but that's understandable since she has a young child. This will be her only child, so I do understand her being hyper protective to some extent.

I guess my question is - how can I divert conversations to healthier topics, and how do I kindly tell her that she is smothering her child without alienating her and risk losing the friendship? I have spent admittedly a lot of time over the years placating her and commiserating with her from a parental standpoint, but I am beginning to realize that I may not have been doing her any favors by doing that. My level of tolerance is diminishing as I see what this could mean for her only child.

Her husband works a lot and does his best to keep her calm and reasonable when it comes to the family's health, but sometimes I do have to wonder if he's avoiding her to some extent.

I also struggle with how involved I should get and if I should just mind my own business. That would be difficult as she often asks my advice...

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December 13, 2008

I hate living with this

This is horrible. This imaginary disease is killing every sane part of my brain. I check on my mouth almost 20 times at day. I have been two 2 different doctors this week and been told Im fine. I seem to see colors which aren't there and feel pains which aren't there. Both the dentist and my main physician agreed there is nothing wrong with me. My doctor just send me pills to help cope with the stomach discomfort and my dentist just some mouth wash to help disinfect what I think is infected but that is not. Im driving everyone insane. Im totally healthy but my mind keeps thinking I have some type of rear incurable cancer. Its totally horrible... I need urgent help. Today I ran out of my house looking for a doctor and then in the afternoon went to see my dentist for what I thought was part of a horrible disease. He told me two things your retainer is bugging you let me fix and please stop scratching your palate with your finger you're causing damage to it.

The point is I need Help....what could I do??

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November 29, 2008

Fed up

Well im 17 years old and have been living with hypochondria for 8 months. I have hypochondria almost every moment of the day and i always feel like im dying. Ive been to the doctors many times and they say there is nothing wrong at all but im convinced otherwise. My main hypochondria is HIV and i have been tested 12 times and came out Negative all 12 but my hypochondria consumes me and i get really scared. Honestly i wish that it would go away. Anyone have any tips?

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November 28, 2008

Hurry, I'm Desperate

Okay, so my boss is definitely a hypochondriac. She is absolutely annoying. Not only does she have a different "disease" every week, she is also a very large woman who seems to be content with being very large and very unhappy. She constantly wants us to accomodate her every whim, and she can't perform the necessary functions of a GS Rep. She says it's because of her "diseases", but really its just because she's lazy. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it seems like that is how SHE makes HERSELF feel better. I recently caught her looking on WebMD on popular "diseases", and everytime I see WebMD on the days history, her "disease" seems to correspond with the most popular "disease" on the site. What is the best way to deal with this kind of person, being that she is my supervisor, and pretty much has a permanent position (pity position) as such? Please help, they say if you can't beat 'em, join 'em right? The problem is, I only want to beat her, or make her stop complaining and being lazy.

Hurry, I'm desperate...

UPSET GS Rep.

Comments (0)

August 28, 2008

I am a hypochondria who has been dealing with this illness for years. i am 25 and since I was 18 I have always thought i was sick. It's not even just hypochondria, I worry about EVERYTHING! Any thing that could happen, I believe WILL happen. This is a horrible way to live and it is affecting my relationships with everyone i care about, but most importantly my husband, children and my mother. I recognize the fact that I am a hypochondriac and have now started to try to not let myself go to the doctor as much. As a result I have now lead myself to think that the one time I don't go, it will be serious and i will be beyond help when i finally seek medical attention. I see a counsellor, psychologist, psychiatrist and my family doctor on a regular basis and have sone so for almost 2 years. If ANYBODY knows anything that may help, please post. I feel like I am losing hope and this is no way to live!!!

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June 20, 2008

Scared

Hi i'm 24 y.o and i think i may have hypochondria. Since last yr i've been having extreme nausea and vomiting, which turned out i had reflux. Ever since then i can't help shake the feeling that there's more goin on in my body that i'm aware of. i constantly search the web about symptoms, even if its just a cough. I am a new nurse and reading those books and seeing patients don't help either. Recently i had severe muscle cramps, but doc says everything is fine. But no one has extreme legs cramps every day. She prolly thinks i'm crazy.It freaks me out and i'm scared there is something wrong with me. But as a nurse it seems like i'm overexaggerating these symptoms, i dunno what to do i'm conflicted. i had an endoscopy recently cuz i thought i had stomach cancer because i would vomit and there would be streaks of blood or i thought maybe really big ulcers. those tests were negative, again i'm relieved, but still scared. Everytime i cough, get a headache or ne thing i think i'm about to die. I hate feeling this way and can't tell my family because i feel ridiculous for feeling this way.

Comments (2972)

April 10, 2008

Crying Wolf

I'm so afraid that after all of the years of my "diseases", and running to every doctor in town, that one day I truly am going to have something, and no doctor, family member, or myself will believe it -until I die of course.
I read something cute the other day. It said, "eat healthy, exercise regularly, die anways."
Good luck to all of us.

Comments (4084)

April 9, 2008

How can I help?

Hi,

I've been reading all your pieces and I'm not sure if I'm crossing a line doing this, but I'm coming from the other side - my partner is a hypochondriac - no problem for me, I love him, the only thing is he doesn't know he is.

I didn't realise the severity of it until we moved in together. He was obsessed that he had a heart condition, his father had a massive heart attack when he was 16 and it obviously had a huge impact on him. His obsession manifested itself by the usual doctors visits, consultants, every test under the sun, google research for hours on end, buying home tests for different ailments and taking several tests a day sometimes every few minutes, waking me in the night because he's convinced his heart is beating irregularly, texts, emails and phone calls. When all the tests come back clear he says they can't be relied upon. Then it turned to stomach problems, two people in my immediate family had been having awful problems with severe reflux acid etc. and had needed operations. Then he got gastroentritis (I know I've spelled that wrong) - eureka! there was something wrong - since then we've forgotten about the heart for the most part and are focusing on the stomach. He reads up on the disease/disorder/illness, is adamant he has one or two of the symtoms and then worries himself into sleepless nights and convinces himself that he's the one in a million who doesn't have the 'classic' symptoms. He now thinks he has GERD and within the space of 15 minutes, convinced himself he was short of breath to tie in with the asthma that some suffers can get.

One doctor told him he had OCD and that cognitive therapy would make a difference - he thinks she's nuts. After a few weeks of sleepless nights (from him waking me up with some symptom or another) I ended up in the doctor crying from sheer exhaustion - well that was the diagnosis. The doctor told me to leave him! No way - I know, god forbid, that if I was sick he would look after me - ok so he might decide he has what I have :) and we'd suffer together - but his good generous heart would be there for me to really care for me. I know he is sick and I want to fight this with him, but every time I bring it up we end up fighting. I've tried to bring it up in a serious factual way, light hearted, peppered the conversation with kisses and hugs, got mad myself - sometimes he'll say 'maybe' but most of the time he gets really cross with me and shuts down and that's the worst thing that can happen.

There are those blissful few days sometimes even a week or two where he seems to nearly forget about it, but it always comes back.

My mom says I should ignore it until he stops talking about it - I like to call it the ostrich approach and until you've lived with this you don't understand that it's not a solution.

Please please please tell me what to do to help him. A lot of you seem aware of what you have and I know it's hard, but you seem to be fighting it. If I broke my leg I would go to a doctor to fix it and I just want him to go to a doctor for the right thing. I just need to take the edge off this. Yesterday he emailed me telling me that a burning in his throat was 'sending him over the edge'. He had a battery of hospital exams just weeks ago and everything was clear and all the docs reports have come back clear.

This has been going on for a year now and before that I'm not sure. I feel really guilty writing this behind his back, but I've tried to find someone to help and they all say the same thing - he has to come to them - so how do I get him to do that with an open mind?

How did you know? How did you accept? What made a difference for you? What can those around you do to make it easier?

I'd really appreciate a few moments of your time to hear from you.

Comments (2614)

April 2, 2008

How do you know?

How do you know if you are a hypochondriac? On some level I know that this fits me of all the internet searches I have done on health issues. What's worse is, I am a nurse. Sick, Huh? Not only do I have the internet for ideas, I actually have seen the worst of the worse in my 10 years of nursing. Before being an RN, I was a CNA. I have had a health related career pretty much my whole life. I can take care of other people's health problems, but not my own.......Again, Sick. I never had issues with anxiety gripping my life until about 2 years ago when my long curly red hair started falling out. No, really, it was falling out. It was a particularly stressful time in my life. So I became fixated on my hair falling out, which lead to dizziness, and heart palpitations and numbness and tingling in my arms and legs. Then after my PCP dismissed my symptoms and gave me an antidepressant "because your husband travels, you have 2 kids, and you need it." WoW! I felt I was cracking up. I really though he might be right and tried the antidepressant only to have a HORRIBLE reaction from it. I thought I was surely dying and no one would figure it out until I was dead. But I set up a counseling appointment. Six months into it, they found out I do have a reason for all those symptoms. I was diagnosed with Hashi's Thyroiditis. Great. So they DID find something. Me finding something ended up having my 35 year old sister find out she had Stage 3 Thyroid Cancer. Ok, now I really started freaking out. Now I must have thyroid cancer too. All the testing ensued. I don't have it, although I MAY get it. That came from a Doctor, by the way. So, ever since then, the anxiety issues have stayed with me. I too, as many of you have experienced globus, and choking feelings, and sore throats, and reflux. What the heck? I thought this was a thyroid problem. Now EVERY symptom I have is "a thyroid problem." I don't know what to do with myself. Palpitations near my period, long periods. Again, I am told thyroid related. I AM on thyroid replacement. I AM in the optimal range for thyroid function....So why can't my fat butt lose weight. Oh, yeah, cause everytime I exercise I get heart palpitations. Did I mention that I am 32 years old? I worry all the time, maybe that's my problem. I managed to marry someone who doesn't EVER worry. He left that marital responsibility to me. Remind me to thank him for that before I die. Yeah, I guess I am a hypochondriac. So what, that just means I am smart. I have figured out how to worry about the very thing that I have the most limited control over... MY HEALTH! Oh, yeah, I am obessed about natural remedies. I feel like the pharmaceutical companies are trying to kill us by giving us meds that give us diseases. You all know I just might be right.....So, instead of taking the meds that may help me, I will just continue to experience the VERY REAL and incapacitating symptoms that plague me on a semi regular basis. I did break down the other day and took 1/2 an Ativan for the heart palpitations I was having. Guess what? Either they went away or it tricked my brain into not caring anymore. AMAZING. So now what? Do I start popping Ativan so I can't feel anything anymore. Nah, not my style. Really I think all this manifested because if I died I don't believe that anyone would raise my 2 beautiful boys the way that I would. That is because I really think that my Hypochondria is my OCD manifestation. My psych asked me if I perform any checking habit? WHO ME? No, better yet, WHO doesn't. If they don't they are the ones with the problem. Don't they know that something COULD be wrong with them, and they just don't know it? AHHH, man, ignorance MUST be bliss.........

Thanks for letting me vent..

Angela

Comments (2804)

March 17, 2008

hope

I hope everybody feels better soon.

Comments (2365)

March 15, 2008

On MS

I'm also sufferring terribly from a fear of MS @ the moment. I have 3 bulging discs in my neck, one of which is pressing on my spinal cord & causing numbness and tingling mostly in my left arm (occasionally in my right). Physical therapy and cortisone shots have eased the numbness and tingling but have caused other interesting sensations to occur, which i've convinced myself is actually MS.... despite a perfect brain scan & the reassurance of several doctors and physical therapists. But, as we know, a perfect scan doesn't mean you're in the clear. So, i've been in a terrible doctor loop of scans, blood tests for months now... and everything has turned out perfectly so far. But, in my mind, that just means they haven't done the right test yet. I also want to conceive very badly and need to act quickly because of fertility issues but am frightened that i'm terribly sick.

It's funny that when i recently looked up the definition of hypochondriac one of the diseases we fixate on is MS. I think it's because our anxiety can cause many of the symptoms associated w/MS. I googled my symptoms one day and, of course, MS popped up. Its symptoms are common to about a million different illnesses. The interenet is a hpyochondriac's worst enemy.

I'm also terrible at waiting and seeing. I've convinced myself of many illnesses over the past 18 years (both my parents died suddenly when i was young... @ different times) and i've never had a single one. Although my symptoms were real, they either turned out to be nothing or nothing life threatening at all... never what i thought it was. So, maybe it is all in my head... i hope so anyway.

I'm here if you want to talk... usually @ all hours of the night too. I'm sure you know what that's like. Breathe, regardless of what it is... if anything... it will definately be ok. We can more than handle whatever comes our way in life :)

Comments (1970)

March 14, 2008

Hello, is anyone still using this site? I'm in Canada and really need some support. The fear of the past month is ALS or MS, I've actually gotten to the point of hoping it's "something like MS" because of my fear of ALS. My father has MS so I guess I've spent much of my life worrying about it, I've had 3 brain MRI. Typing it out sounds crazy, however, I often say to people, how can it be crazy if the symptoms are there, the lumps are there...!!! I guess the difference is my inability to 'wait and see' I am immediately convinced I'm dying. I do have Crohn's disease, diagnosed 10 years ago after a year of being sick and doctors telling me that it's all in my head and it turns out, it was something. I guess that adds to my fears. Most recently is a sudden attack of severe all over body aches which I thought at first to be the flu (but no fever). It felt like my bones, muscles and skin were all aching at once. That was nearly six weeks ago. I am taking pain killers everyday and had been, unitl six weeks ago, trying to conceive (I got married in October) so now I feel even sorrier for myself as I am 33. I have constant fatigue in my legs and upper arms and pain that seems to move everywhere, some twitching (usually after walking etc.). I'm sometimes so exhausted I cannot lift my fork to my mouth to eat...

Is anyone out there, I feel as if I have lost all hope...

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March 10, 2008

Hi can anyone give me any advice for the past ten years on and off i`ve had symtoms of heart attacks some days i have chest pain all day with pains down my arm, i`m petrified of even going for a shower if i`m alone in the house incase i have one and no-one finds me. this is ruining my life i`m sick of chest pains and worrying. p.s i`ve had numerous ECG`S all clear and other checks off my doctor but i just don`t believe him

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February 19, 2008

I am 33, mom of three. Dad died of a heart attack at 48 (first heart attack at 31). About six years ago, I became certain that I had a tumor, or something wrong with my gall bladder. It was nothing. Lately I am convinced that I am about to drop dead of a heart attack, just like my father. I CANNOT stop worrying about it. I know it's dragging my life down, and I've spent unecessary money on dr visits and tests. I mean, what 33year old do you know who has a cardiologist?! I am scared to death of taking any drugs for it (no, seriously), but what do I have to lose? Anyone on meds and successfully come off them? Any one out there beaten this horrible beast???

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February 16, 2008

im 17 and i have been dealing with hypochondria for almost a year. my mom doesn't believe me, and my friends never give me the time of the day to even listen to me. I can't tell my boyfriend, he will think I'm a creep-o. I am facing many things. At times my ear gets clogged, and I think I'm going deaf. My eye turns red and highly irritated, I think I'm going blind. The one I worry about most is getting a STD. Not to mention, I lost it to my boyfriend and he lost it to me, and I have no intention with every having sex with anyone else due to cervical cancer and I don't want to contribute an STD. I have been tested twice in the past year. I wanted to go get tested once every month, but it gets pricey. When the doctors tell me I do not have one, I think they are lying to me. In a sense I want to know to know if something is wrong with me, but when Im at the doctors office I'm shaking because I don't know want to hear if anything is wrong with me. I sit at home and worry, worry, worry, worry, and worry. I cry all the time about it because I am so scared. I don't know what to do...

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February 3, 2008

i always think i am dying

Hello. I just found this site and thought i would share my story. Ever since I was very young, I have thought I had many diseases. When my brother was three and I was six, he got a piece of carrot lodged in his lungs and had to have surgery to remove it. For months I would cry and choke at night thinking I too had a carrot stuck in my lung. When I was seven I watched a movie about AIDS and thought i had Aids for about a year after that. Now, I am 25 and almost everyday I think I am having a heart attack, and I always tell myself, yeah, this time I'm really going to die. Needless to say, I never do. Also, for three years I had a permanent sore throat. thinking I had cancer, I saw about five or six different doctors about it, and finally a throat specialist succeeded in convincing me that I was fine. The next morning, for the first time in years, my sore throat went away. Now, besides for the heart attack thing, I have a lump on my chest which three doctors said was a cyst, and I cant help but really believe it is cancer. I am so sick of always thinking I am dying. and i am scared that one day I will be actually sick and no one will believe me.

Comments (3)

January 22, 2008

My hypochondriasis is worse than ever

I just found this site after spending countless hours for the past two years searching for solutions to my numerous health problems. I have had OCD and hypochondriasis since the age of 4- I am currently in my 40's. I have diagnosed myself with everything from cancers to aids( live like a nun) -non of course which I have. Now I have been engaged in a battle with a possible diagnosis of reflux. The latter has been the most difficult to overcome. Three doctors say that I don't have it based upon mannometry and pH testing but and ENT says that I do based on history and the apprearance of my larynx. I did not manifest any symtoms of heartburn until I was told that I have reflux for the first time. After that I developed speech problems, hoarseness, globus etc. and was put on Pariet. It has all gotten to be too much for myself and my family. At least with all the skin lesions they could be biopsied and a definitive diagnosis could be made. Now I am afraid to be on or off the Pariet and am totally obsessed with finding a solution to the situation. Reflux is a tough one for hypochondriacs because it is difficult to diagnosis with any certainty and it can of course cause esophageal or laryngeal cancers so it is like the PERFECT disorder for the OCD hypo. I no longer function- used to be a successful teacher and am living in a severe depression which is comorbid with severe anxiety.
Just wondering if anyone else has successfully dealt with the relux as a potential somatiform disorder. I am on an antidepressants and engaging in CBT. I would love to hear from others who may be going through something similar and hear some suggestions on how to deal with it.

Thanks for your interest.

Anne

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December 12, 2007

Cathy

I feel embarrassed posting this, but I am a genuine hypochondriac. I can testify that this is a real mental disorder and that it is difficult to live with. Many people might look at a hypochondriac and think they are only trying to get attention and they should just stop worrying. I promise, its not about attention and I wish more than anything that I could just stop worrying. The truth is that even knowing full well that I am a hypochondriac, I still can't stop thinking that, "this time" I am seriously ill. Even after a medical exam I still worry, I feel that the doctor just didn't see what I'm seeing or that the doctor just doesn't care that I'm sick. Is there anyone out there who knows how I feel?

I actually got my degree in psychology in part because of my fascinatio nwith this disease, and my realization that mental disorders are real and they deserve attention not stigmatization.

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September 27, 2007

Hi to all who read this. I have diagnosed myself as a hypochondriac. It started when my cousin became very sick with ovarian and then bladder cancer. Around the same time, my aunt also died of ovarian cancer. My cousin won the battle with hers. A couple of months after, I noticed a small pain in my abdominal area to the left. I thought it was ovarian cancer. Had a procedure and found out that I was ok. A few months later, I thought I had uterine cancer. Made an appt with my OBGYN and found out I was ok. Lets just say since then, I have had other health scares. It keeps happening. Its interfering with my daily functioning because I worry about it and am constantly checking my body for symptoms. I am looking for some sort of relief.....

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March 24, 2007

question

I really think there is something wrong with my mom, and I think hypochondria may be it. She always claims she is sick, goes to the doctor, and the doctor says she is fine. Recently, I was very sick with tonsilitis, and the next day my mom came home from work saying she thinks she has it, although she showed no symptoms. She constantly has a headache and is complaining about being ill, it is beginning to really interfere with all of our lives. I'm scared that one day she really will be sick and my dad or I won't pay her the attention she needs because we are so used to her illnesses. my dad says it has been going on since before I was born... over 18 years. I am thinking she does it for the attention that she receives from coworkers and extended family. Should I get her help? and if so how?

Comments (2831)

January 29, 2007

Blood

I have a huge detest and fear of blood. In fact, its more of other people's blood. In retrospect, I abhor all fluids from other people except my own and my family's and close close people to my heart. I'm not entirely that screwed in the head yet to detest all living humans - well can be considered quite close to that. Well, that's another story altogether.

So, a little introduction to what blood is:

The average adult has about five liters of blood living inside of their body, coursing through their vessels, delivering essential elements, and removing harmful wastes. Without blood, the human body would come to a halt. In other words, blood is very essential to life.

Blood is the fluid of life, transporting oxygen to the body. Blood is the fluid of growth, transporting nourishment throughout the body. Blood is the fluid of health, transporting disease fighting substances to the tissue and waste to the kidneys. Because it contains living cells, blood is alive.

Blood is composed of a straw-colored liquid called plasma which contains suspended cells. The different specialized cells found in blood are:

red blood cells
white blood cells
platelets

Approximately 90% of plasma is water- blood's solvent with the rest composed of dissolved substances, primarily proteins (e.g. albumin, globulin, fibronogen). Plasma typically accounts for 55% by volume of blood and of the remaining 45% the greatest contribution is from the red blood cells.

So, that is a brief summary of what the red fluid is all about, coursing through our veins at this very second.

I detest blood because blood, though essential in life is also a major bodily fluid that is highly infectious. You can get diseases such as the dreaded AIDS, hepatitis, Ebola, Cytomegalovirus and lesser known diseases such as Lassa fever (mostly in Afriaca). Well, these are just a list of scary diseases that are blood borne.

I have an inane fear of touching or coming in contact with other people's blood. The sight of blood makes me nauseous and queasy in the stomach and then I will slowly turn pale and almost blackout if its quite bad. Also, the strong smell of blood really punctures my nostrils and it's just too revolting and stomach upsetting. At the very moment I'm writting this, I'm already feeling a little quesy and weak in the hands. I shudder to think of blood - other people's blood.

Are we ever safe from other people's blood? I ask myself that many many times, maybe a million times. For instance, what if you're at a restaurant and the chef accidentally cut his finger while preparing your food and it drops into your food? What if you touched an object that has blood - be it dry or still fresh on it and there may be some small minor hairline cuts on your fingers? Does that not amount to a direct contact with blood? What if you share drinks with somebody and they have bleeding gums and you either have bleeding gums too or some sores or some sort of wound in your mouth that is not even noticeable? What if somebody cuts himself and they touch you directly on your hand or whichever part of your body and you have a small cut too? There are an infinite 'what if' scenarios that involves blood and other people's bodily fluids. We can't control other people and neither can we stay alone in the world without any human interatction of some sort. So, are we all at risk of some blood borne disease unknowingly? Or is it all hush hush so as not to set off wild epidemic panics amongst humans? What if all my fears are true and we are all at risk of blood borne diseases just because we will always have interactions with humans in the course of our lives? Are we subjected to continuous blood tests in our lifetime just to ascertain we are not accidentally or not, infected by other people's blood and bodily fluids? What if? What if? So many what ifs and not enough concrete answers.

Anyway, I really do hope its just the hypochondriac in me speaking and that my fear of human bodily fluids and blood is sheer over-reaction.

Wouldn't life be sweeter and safer if we all live safely in the confines of a giant plastic ball?

Share your thoughts and views with me about hypochondria in
Hypochondria and I

Comments (2840)

January 26, 2007

Confessions of a Hypochondriac

In her blog, Confessions of a Hypochondriac, Leila V. writes about life as a hypochondriac. It's a great peek into the mind of someone who worries about her health on a daily basis.

The opening lines of her latest post read:

Today was an okay today. Actually, it was a good day; aside from the agonizing chest pains and dizziness that plagued me through the afternoon.

She mixes humor and good writing with the very serious problem of living with hypochondria and anxiety. A must read for anyone with hypochondria or those trying to understand it!

Confessions of a Hypochondriac

Comments (3166)


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