Health Diaries > The Hypochondria Blog
November 6, 2009
I am 24 years old male and I have just discovered that I am hypochondriac by searching the internet the sypmtomes really matches me, I have been always worried about my health, it is like I want to convience myself that I have a disease and if I became sure that I am free for a certain disease I tend to search for another illness to worry about,it started when i was a kid i once watched a tv program about diabetes syptomes and i immediately got convienced that I have diabetes, I even forced my dad to make a test for me, another time I forced my mum to take me to ent doctor because i thought i have some problems in hearing! i even tried to imagine that I dont hear well! when i became older by 21 it became more severe, I thought i have high blood pressure, and I went to check it, another time I thought I have virus c then I went to make the test and I was fine, another time I thought I had HIV just because i used to have an unprotected sex with my girl friend although she is absolutely fine and I am 100% sure she is ok, I went to make the test from 2 months it was negative but I thought the lab is not good I mean they didnt make the test correctly, it was like i was unhappy with the result its like I wanted to be HIV postive, I even thought of doing the test again, I keep imagining the illness and the consquences of having such disease how it will affect my life, sometimes I imagine that I will die in a terrible car accedient that is going to crash my body, another time I thought I have erctile dysfunction and a heart disease,another big story when I thought that I have infertility so I kept imagining that I will never get a baby so I went and lied to a doctor and told him I am getting married so that he can help me to do the test,I gave to the lab really terrible semen sample so the results were infertility postive! instead of re doing the test I harried to a doctor and I didnt tell him that i suspect that the test is wrong! I think I made him gave me medications which exactly what I wanted! after some time i decided to make the test again and this time I gave a good sample to the lab, the result was that I was fine! and my fertility is really great, I have a great job, great family, everything is great in my life except in dealing with this problem, I become to feel that I am not allowed to have fun... everytime I start to have fun, the thoughts of being ill cross to my mind and it successfully puts me in a depressed/sad mood again, i really paid a lot of money for the doctors, medical tests, big waste of money especially I am young I should not be thinking of heart disease at this age!! but now after knewing I have hpochondria I will try to search for psychiatrist. I never shared what I have just said with anyone, i think i was embarressed that is why I used to keep it to myself
November 6, 2009
I am 24 years old male and I have just discovered that I am hypochondriac by searching the internet the sypmtomes really matches me, I have been always worried about my health, it is like I want to convience myself that I have a disease and if I became sure that I am free for a certain disease I tend to search for another illness to worry about,it started when i was a kid i once watched a tv program about diabetes syptomes and i immediately got convienced that I have diabetes, I even forced my dad to make a test for me, another time I forced my mum to take me to ent doctor because i thought i have some problems in hearing! i even tried to imagine that I dont hear well! when i became older by 21 it became more severe, I thought i have high blood pressure, and I went to check it, another time I thought I have virus c then I went to make the test and I was fine, another time I thought I had HIV just because i used to have an unprotected sex with my girl friend although she is absolutely fine and I am 100% sure she is ok, I went to make the test from 2 months it was negative but I thought the lab is not good I mean they didnt make the test correctly, it was like i was unhappy with the result its like I wanted to be HIV postive, I even thought of doing the test again, I keep imagining the illness and the consquences of having such disease how it will affect my life, sometimes I imagine that I will die in a terrible car accedient that is going to crash my body, another time I thought I have erctile dysfunction and a heart disease,another big story when I thought that I have infertility so I kept imagining that I will never get a baby so I went and lied to a doctor and told him I am getting married so that he can help me to do the test,I gave to the lab really terrible semen sample so the results were infertility postive! instead of re doing the test I harried to a doctor and I didnt tell him that i suspect that the test is wrong! I think I made him gave me medications which exactly what I wanted! after some time i decided to make the test again and this time I gave a good sample to the lab, the result was that I was fine! and my fertility is really great, I have a great job, great family, everything is great in my life except in dealing with this problem, I become to feel that I am not allowed to have fun... everytime I start to have fun, the thoughts of being ill cross to my mind and it successfully puts me in a depressed/sad mood again, i really paid a lot of money for the doctors, medical tests, big waste of money especially I am young I should not be thinking of heart disease at this age!! but now after knewing I have hpochondria I will try to search for psychiatrist. I never shared what I have just said with anyone, i think i was embarressed that is why I used to keep it to myself
September 19, 2009
A Hypochondriac
Hey all, I have found a interesting site on hypochondria, it is called Hypochondriac's Relief and it seems to be a site geared toward positive stories and a forum for hypochondriac's to write back and forth. I think its a good resource. You can find the site at www.HypoRelief.com
September 19, 2009
A Hypochondriac
Hey all, I have found a interesting site on hypochondria, it is called Hypochondriac's Relief and it seems to be a site geared toward positive stories and a forum for hypochondriac's to write back and forth. I think its a good resource. You can find the site at Hypochondriac's Relief
September 2, 2009
literally worried to death.
hypochondria is ruinin my life. illness is literally on my mind the moment i wake up to the moment i go to sleep. everything i do during the day i imagine what it will be like doing it when im ill. im terrified of going to doctors and learning about symptoms, yet i cant help but do them. i feel physically ill from the anxiety and that only makes things worse. its been like this for two years and its only getting more severe. im only eighteen years old. i even worry that worrying will kill me. if you have any advice please help me. im dying, and im not even sick.
side note...
even going to this website to reassure myself that im just a hypochondriac. all i can look at are the "health risk" google ads on the side of the screen.
August 16, 2009
ma
My friend is a true hypochondriac. She has every disease for which there is no no medical verification, only a list of symptoms. She is elderly. Her health is better than most her age, and so they are intolerant of her. But she does feel terrible. No arthritis, no blood disorders, no gerd. Just feels terrible and sleeps all the time. Goes to psychiatrist every week. How do I help her? I am the only one left who will listen to her, and I feel like I am feeding into it. Any suggestions? Her feeling bad is truly real. But it is hell on all around her.
August 16, 2009
ma
My friend is a true hypochondriac. She has every disease for which there is no no medical verification, only a list of symptoms. She is elderly. Her health is better than most her age, and so they are intolerant of her. But she does feel terrible. No arthritis, no blood disorders, no gerd. Just feels terrible and sleeps all the time. Goes to psychiatrist every week. How do I help her? I am the only one left who will listen to her, and I feel like I am feeding into it. Any suggestions? Her feeling bad is truly real. But it is hell on all around her.
May 6, 2009
My story
I haven't always been like this. When I was 17 I had unprotected sex one time and got an STD. Suddenly I realized I was not invincible. I became obsessed with my sexual health, constantly making up symptoms in my head that didn't exist. It would consume me for hours at a time.
This went on for a few years, then I seemed to get better for a few. I would occassionally have my obsessive moments, but they were few and far between. It seems like the last couple of years it has come back and gotten worst. Now it isn't just sexual health, it is everything. I've had a small, odd-shaped freckle on my chest for years. I found myself spending hours looking at skin cancer pictures on the internet the other day. This morning I woke up with a sore throat and I read about swine flu for a few hours.
We got a dog a few months ago, and everytime she makes an odd noise or does something I am not familiar with, I am googling it and convincing myself she has all sorts of things.
The thing is... I know it's crazy and I know that odds are I don't have any of this stuff. I get lost on webmd, but when I stop and think about it, I realize how ridiculous and sick it is, but I cannot stop. And my feelings about illnesses have changed. When I first started being like this, I was more intrigued. Now I am really frightened of becoming seriously ill. I think I always thought that people with hypochondria weren't aware of their illness, but I am completely aware of how irrational I get. Is that possible?
I don't have health insurance, and I am probably the only person in the world that thinks that might just be a blessing. Otherwise I would probably be at the doctor once a week.
The worst is that I hide it from everyone. When the urge does overtake me and I go to the doctor anyway, I don't tell anyone. I don't tell my boyfriend that I can get obsessed and spend hours researching symptoms and convince myself I am dying. I am living with this secret paranoid obsession and I know it is crazy. I am an intelligent person. I have overcome a lot in my life. But, I think I am a hypochondriac.
March 27, 2009
Is this it?
I have probably been concerned about my health for as long as I can remember. I almost can't bear to think how many hours I have spent pondering over what is wrong with me. When I am in one of my anxious periods it is almost unbearable. Anxiety attacks, hours browsing the web and health books together with imagining how I am going to cope with the illness, outcome etc dominate the weeks until I can seek reassurance that I am not at that time actually suffering from the condition that I am most confinced I have. What is probably most comical is although I sort of believe I don't have the illness which has preoccupied me for so long I then worry that the amount of time I have spent worrying about it has probably started the ball rolling and I am just about to get the illness! I know it sounds madness when all around me other people are actually being ill and experiencing the horror of really coping but I just don't seem to be able to completely stop the process.
Anyway I just thought this may ring bells.
March 17, 2009
I have hypochondria
hypochionjdria is so gay and i have it cuz when i get kicked in the head im like "FUCK I GOT BRAIN TUMOR" but really i just got kicked in the head and it hurts but i think i have a brain tumor. when i went to school yesterday im okay but when im alone in my room and i have a stomachache im like "FUCK I GOT STOMACH ULCERS OH SHIT" and then i drink a bunch of drain-o but it doesnt help it only makes me feel worse it makes me puke and then im like "OH SHIT I GOT BULIMIA OR MAYBE ANOREIXA!" so then i dont eat for like six days but then when i faint i get up and go eat a cheeseburger and im like "OH YEAH THATS GOOD"
So thats the story of my life.
January 11, 2009
Going crazy & could use advice
I have a neighbor who admits to and seems to have several health issues that I believe are legitimate, such as: IBS, allergies, and anxiety and/or OCD.
She spends a lot of time obsessing about her and her child's health, their in take and out take, making doctor appointments, having CTs and ultrasounds, etc. The slightest twinge or rash, it seems like she runs to the doctor. She has her own gastroenterologist, which I understand, her own dermatologist, religiously is on time for all yearly exams and some in between with each new pain.
I do feel she has OCD because her e-mails are extremely long to me detailing her health concerns and usually always mentions some 'horrible' level of stress she's under. I have to be very careful in our phone conversations and the topics discussed or our phone conversations could go on for literally hours if I do not initiate an end to the conversation.
To me, these situations are far from horrible, but I respect that everyone's concerns and levels of tolerance to stress are different.
She is a mother to a 3-year-old, and now she admits to me that she does not take her child outside much, especially between 11 and 3 because she is afraid of sun damage. I had wondered because I don't see them outside much at all. She actually seems to wait until her husband is home to take her child outside, which is ridiculous.
She socializes very little, does not attend any sort of group activities for children, does not allow her child to spend much time with her local grandparents,
She is overweight but is doing her best to lose the excess with healthy eating. Of course now I hear about every ache and pain now that her IB is acting up because of it.
We do enjoy each other's friendship. We do each other favors, with me actually doing more for her, but that's understandable since she has a young child. This will be her only child, so I do understand her being hyper protective to some extent.
I guess my question is - how can I divert conversations to healthier topics, and how do I kindly tell her that she is smothering her child without alienating her and risk losing the friendship? I have spent admittedly a lot of time over the years placating her and commiserating with her from a parental standpoint, but I am beginning to realize that I may not have been doing her any favors by doing that. My level of tolerance is diminishing as I see what this could mean for her only child.
Her husband works a lot and does his best to keep her calm and reasonable when it comes to the family's health, but sometimes I do have to wonder if he's avoiding her to some extent.
I also struggle with how involved I should get and if I should just mind my own business. That would be difficult as she often asks my advice...
December 13, 2008
I hate living with this
This is horrible. This imaginary disease is killing every sane part of my brain. I check on my mouth almost 20 times at day. I have been two 2 different doctors this week and been told Im fine. I seem to see colors which aren't there and feel pains which aren't there. Both the dentist and my main physician agreed there is nothing wrong with me. My doctor just send me pills to help cope with the stomach discomfort and my dentist just some mouth wash to help disinfect what I think is infected but that is not. Im driving everyone insane. Im totally healthy but my mind keeps thinking I have some type of rear incurable cancer. Its totally horrible... I need urgent help. Today I ran out of my house looking for a doctor and then in the afternoon went to see my dentist for what I thought was part of a horrible disease. He told me two things your retainer is bugging you let me fix and please stop scratching your palate with your finger you're causing damage to it.
The point is I need Help....what could I do??
November 29, 2008
Fed up
Well im 17 years old and have been living with hypochondria for 8 months. I have hypochondria almost every moment of the day and i always feel like im dying. Ive been to the doctors many times and they say there is nothing wrong at all but im convinced otherwise. My main hypochondria is HIV and i have been tested 12 times and came out Negative all 12 but my hypochondria consumes me and i get really scared. Honestly i wish that it would go away. Anyone have any tips?
November 28, 2008
Hurry, I'm Desperate
Okay, so my boss is definitely a hypochondriac. She is absolutely annoying. Not only does she have a different "disease" every week, she is also a very large woman who seems to be content with being very large and very unhappy. She constantly wants us to accomodate her every whim, and she can't perform the necessary functions of a GS Rep. She says it's because of her "diseases", but really its just because she's lazy. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it seems like that is how SHE makes HERSELF feel better. I recently caught her looking on WebMD on popular "diseases", and everytime I see WebMD on the days history, her "disease" seems to correspond with the most popular "disease" on the site. What is the best way to deal with this kind of person, being that she is my supervisor, and pretty much has a permanent position (pity position) as such? Please help, they say if you can't beat 'em, join 'em right? The problem is, I only want to beat her, or make her stop complaining and being lazy.
Hurry, I'm desperate...
UPSET GS Rep.
August 28, 2008
I am a hypochondria who has been dealing with this illness for years. i am 25 and since I was 18 I have always thought i was sick. It's not even just hypochondria, I worry about EVERYTHING! Any thing that could happen, I believe WILL happen. This is a horrible way to live and it is affecting my relationships with everyone i care about, but most importantly my husband, children and my mother. I recognize the fact that I am a hypochondriac and have now started to try to not let myself go to the doctor as much. As a result I have now lead myself to think that the one time I don't go, it will be serious and i will be beyond help when i finally seek medical attention. I see a counsellor, psychologist, psychiatrist and my family doctor on a regular basis and have sone so for almost 2 years. If ANYBODY knows anything that may help, please post. I feel like I am losing hope and this is no way to live!!!
June 20, 2008
Scared
Hi i'm 24 y.o and i think i may have hypochondria. Since last yr i've been having extreme nausea and vomiting, which turned out i had reflux. Ever since then i can't help shake the feeling that there's more goin on in my body that i'm aware of. i constantly search the web about symptoms, even if its just a cough. I am a new nurse and reading those books and seeing patients don't help either. Recently i had severe muscle cramps, but doc says everything is fine. But no one has extreme legs cramps every day. She prolly thinks i'm crazy.It freaks me out and i'm scared there is something wrong with me. But as a nurse it seems like i'm overexaggerating these symptoms, i dunno what to do i'm conflicted. i had an endoscopy recently cuz i thought i had stomach cancer because i would vomit and there would be streaks of blood or i thought maybe really big ulcers. those tests were negative, again i'm relieved, but still scared. Everytime i cough, get a headache or ne thing i think i'm about to die. I hate feeling this way and can't tell my family because i feel ridiculous for feeling this way.
April 10, 2008
Crying Wolf
I'm so afraid that after all of the years of my "diseases", and running to every doctor in town, that one day I truly am going to have something, and no doctor, family member, or myself will believe it -until I die of course.
I read something cute the other day. It said, "eat healthy, exercise regularly, die anways."
Good luck to all of us.
April 9, 2008
How can I help?
Hi,
I've been reading all your pieces and I'm not sure if I'm crossing a line doing this, but I'm coming from the other side - my partner is a hypochondriac - no problem for me, I love him, the only thing is he doesn't know he is.
I didn't realise the severity of it until we moved in together. He was obsessed that he had a heart condition, his father had a massive heart attack when he was 16 and it obviously had a huge impact on him. His obsession manifested itself by the usual doctors visits, consultants, every test under the sun, google research for hours on end, buying home tests for different ailments and taking several tests a day sometimes every few minutes, waking me in the night because he's convinced his heart is beating irregularly, texts, emails and phone calls. When all the tests come back clear he says they can't be relied upon. Then it turned to stomach problems, two people in my immediate family had been having awful problems with severe reflux acid etc. and had needed operations. Then he got gastroentritis (I know I've spelled that wrong) - eureka! there was something wrong - since then we've forgotten about the heart for the most part and are focusing on the stomach. He reads up on the disease/disorder/illness, is adamant he has one or two of the symtoms and then worries himself into sleepless nights and convinces himself that he's the one in a million who doesn't have the 'classic' symptoms. He now thinks he has GERD and within the space of 15 minutes, convinced himself he was short of breath to tie in with the asthma that some suffers can get.
One doctor told him he had OCD and that cognitive therapy would make a difference - he thinks she's nuts. After a few weeks of sleepless nights (from him waking me up with some symptom or another) I ended up in the doctor crying from sheer exhaustion - well that was the diagnosis. The doctor told me to leave him! No way - I know, god forbid, that if I was sick he would look after me - ok so he might decide he has what I have :) and we'd suffer together - but his good generous heart would be there for me to really care for me. I know he is sick and I want to fight this with him, but every time I bring it up we end up fighting. I've tried to bring it up in a serious factual way, light hearted, peppered the conversation with kisses and hugs, got mad myself - sometimes he'll say 'maybe' but most of the time he gets really cross with me and shuts down and that's the worst thing that can happen.
There are those blissful few days sometimes even a week or two where he seems to nearly forget about it, but it always comes back.
My mom says I should ignore it until he stops talking about it - I like to call it the ostrich approach and until you've lived with this you don't understand that it's not a solution.
Please please please tell me what to do to help him. A lot of you seem aware of what you have and I know it's hard, but you seem to be fighting it. If I broke my leg I would go to a doctor to fix it and I just want him to go to a doctor for the right thing. I just need to take the edge off this. Yesterday he emailed me telling me that a burning in his throat was 'sending him over the edge'. He had a battery of hospital exams just weeks ago and everything was clear and all the docs reports have come back clear.
This has been going on for a year now and before that I'm not sure. I feel really guilty writing this behind his back, but I've tried to find someone to help and they all say the same thing - he has to come to them - so how do I get him to do that with an open mind?
How did you know? How did you accept? What made a difference for you? What can those around you do to make it easier?
I'd really appreciate a few moments of your time to hear from you.
April 2, 2008
How do you know?
How do you know if you are a hypochondriac? On some level I know that this fits me of all the internet searches I have done on health issues. What's worse is, I am a nurse. Sick, Huh? Not only do I have the internet for ideas, I actually have seen the worst of the worse in my 10 years of nursing. Before being an RN, I was a CNA. I have had a health related career pretty much my whole life. I can take care of other people's health problems, but not my own.......Again, Sick. I never had issues with anxiety gripping my life until about 2 years ago when my long curly red hair started falling out. No, really, it was falling out. It was a particularly stressful time in my life. So I became fixated on my hair falling out, which lead to dizziness, and heart palpitations and numbness and tingling in my arms and legs. Then after my PCP dismissed my symptoms and gave me an antidepressant "because your husband travels, you have 2 kids, and you need it." WoW! I felt I was cracking up. I really though he might be right and tried the antidepressant only to have a HORRIBLE reaction from it. I thought I was surely dying and no one would figure it out until I was dead. But I set up a counseling appointment. Six months into it, they found out I do have a reason for all those symptoms. I was diagnosed with Hashi's Thyroiditis. Great. So they DID find something. Me finding something ended up having my 35 year old sister find out she had Stage 3 Thyroid Cancer. Ok, now I really started freaking out. Now I must have thyroid cancer too. All the testing ensued. I don't have it, although I MAY get it. That came from a Doctor, by the way. So, ever since then, the anxiety issues have stayed with me. I too, as many of you have experienced globus, and choking feelings, and sore throats, and reflux. What the heck? I thought this was a thyroid problem. Now EVERY symptom I have is "a thyroid problem." I don't know what to do with myself. Palpitations near my period, long periods. Again, I am told thyroid related. I AM on thyroid replacement. I AM in the optimal range for thyroid function....So why can't my fat butt lose weight. Oh, yeah, cause everytime I exercise I get heart palpitations. Did I mention that I am 32 years old? I worry all the time, maybe that's my problem. I managed to marry someone who doesn't EVER worry. He left that marital responsibility to me. Remind me to thank him for that before I die. Yeah, I guess I am a hypochondriac. So what, that just means I am smart. I have figured out how to worry about the very thing that I have the most limited control over... MY HEALTH! Oh, yeah, I am obessed about natural remedies. I feel like the pharmaceutical companies are trying to kill us by giving us meds that give us diseases. You all know I just might be right.....So, instead of taking the meds that may help me, I will just continue to experience the VERY REAL and incapacitating symptoms that plague me on a semi regular basis. I did break down the other day and took 1/2 an Ativan for the heart palpitations I was having. Guess what? Either they went away or it tricked my brain into not caring anymore. AMAZING. So now what? Do I start popping Ativan so I can't feel anything anymore. Nah, not my style. Really I think all this manifested because if I died I don't believe that anyone would raise my 2 beautiful boys the way that I would. That is because I really think that my Hypochondria is my OCD manifestation. My psych asked me if I perform any checking habit? WHO ME? No, better yet, WHO doesn't. If they don't they are the ones with the problem. Don't they know that something COULD be wrong with them, and they just don't know it? AHHH, man, ignorance MUST be bliss.........
Thanks for letting me vent..
Angela
March 17, 2008
hope
I hope everybody feels better soon.
March 15, 2008
On MS
I'm also sufferring terribly from a fear of MS @ the moment. I have 3 bulging discs in my neck, one of which is pressing on my spinal cord & causing numbness and tingling mostly in my left arm (occasionally in my right). Physical therapy and cortisone shots have eased the numbness and tingling but have caused other interesting sensations to occur, which i've convinced myself is actually MS.... despite a perfect brain scan & the reassurance of several doctors and physical therapists. But, as we know, a perfect scan doesn't mean you're in the clear. So, i've been in a terrible doctor loop of scans, blood tests for months now... and everything has turned out perfectly so far. But, in my mind, that just means they haven't done the right test yet. I also want to conceive very badly and need to act quickly because of fertility issues but am frightened that i'm terribly sick.
It's funny that when i recently looked up the definition of hypochondriac one of the diseases we fixate on is MS. I think it's because our anxiety can cause many of the symptoms associated w/MS. I googled my symptoms one day and, of course, MS popped up. Its symptoms are common to about a million different illnesses. The interenet is a hpyochondriac's worst enemy.
I'm also terrible at waiting and seeing. I've convinced myself of many illnesses over the past 18 years (both my parents died suddenly when i was young... @ different times) and i've never had a single one. Although my symptoms were real, they either turned out to be nothing or nothing life threatening at all... never what i thought it was. So, maybe it is all in my head... i hope so anyway.
I'm here if you want to talk... usually @ all hours of the night too. I'm sure you know what that's like. Breathe, regardless of what it is... if anything... it will definately be ok. We can more than handle whatever comes our way in life :)
March 14, 2008
Hello, is anyone still using this site? I'm in Canada and really need some support. The fear of the past month is ALS or MS, I've actually gotten to the point of hoping it's "something like MS" because of my fear of ALS. My father has MS so I guess I've spent much of my life worrying about it, I've had 3 brain MRI. Typing it out sounds crazy, however, I often say to people, how can it be crazy if the symptoms are there, the lumps are there...!!! I guess the difference is my inability to 'wait and see' I am immediately convinced I'm dying. I do have Crohn's disease, diagnosed 10 years ago after a year of being sick and doctors telling me that it's all in my head and it turns out, it was something. I guess that adds to my fears. Most recently is a sudden attack of severe all over body aches which I thought at first to be the flu (but no fever). It felt like my bones, muscles and skin were all aching at once. That was nearly six weeks ago. I am taking pain killers everyday and had been, unitl six weeks ago, trying to conceive (I got married in October) so now I feel even sorrier for myself as I am 33. I have constant fatigue in my legs and upper arms and pain that seems to move everywhere, some twitching (usually after walking etc.). I'm sometimes so exhausted I cannot lift my fork to my mouth to eat...
Is anyone out there, I feel as if I have lost all hope...
March 10, 2008
Hi can anyone give me any advice for the past ten years on and off i`ve had symtoms of heart attacks some days i have chest pain all day with pains down my arm, i`m petrified of even going for a shower if i`m alone in the house incase i have one and no-one finds me. this is ruining my life i`m sick of chest pains and worrying. p.s i`ve had numerous ECG`S all clear and other checks off my doctor but i just don`t believe him
February 19, 2008
I am 33, mom of three. Dad died of a heart attack at 48 (first heart attack at 31). About six years ago, I became certain that I had a tumor, or something wrong with my gall bladder. It was nothing. Lately I am convinced that I am about to drop dead of a heart attack, just like my father. I CANNOT stop worrying about it. I know it's dragging my life down, and I've spent unecessary money on dr visits and tests. I mean, what 33year old do you know who has a cardiologist?! I am scared to death of taking any drugs for it (no, seriously), but what do I have to lose? Anyone on meds and successfully come off them? Any one out there beaten this horrible beast???
February 16, 2008
im 17 and i have been dealing with hypochondria for almost a year. my mom doesn't believe me, and my friends never give me the time of the day to even listen to me. I can't tell my boyfriend, he will think I'm a creep-o. I am facing many things. At times my ear gets clogged, and I think I'm going deaf. My eye turns red and highly irritated, I think I'm going blind. The one I worry about most is getting a STD. Not to mention, I lost it to my boyfriend and he lost it to me, and I have no intention with every having sex with anyone else due to cervical cancer and I don't want to contribute an STD. I have been tested twice in the past year. I wanted to go get tested once every month, but it gets pricey. When the doctors tell me I do not have one, I think they are lying to me. In a sense I want to know to know if something is wrong with me, but when Im at the doctors office I'm shaking because I don't know want to hear if anything is wrong with me. I sit at home and worry, worry, worry, worry, and worry. I cry all the time about it because I am so scared. I don't know what to do...
February 3, 2008
i always think i am dying
Hello. I just found this site and thought i would share my story. Ever since I was very young, I have thought I had many diseases. When my brother was three and I was six, he got a piece of carrot lodged in his lungs and had to have surgery to remove it. For months I would cry and choke at night thinking I too had a carrot stuck in my lung. When I was seven I watched a movie about AIDS and thought i had Aids for about a year after that. Now, I am 25 and almost everyday I think I am having a heart attack, and I always tell myself, yeah, this time I'm really going to die. Needless to say, I never do. Also, for three years I had a permanent sore throat. thinking I had cancer, I saw about five or six different doctors about it, and finally a throat specialist succeeded in convincing me that I was fine. The next morning, for the first time in years, my sore throat went away. Now, besides for the heart attack thing, I have a lump on my chest which three doctors said was a cyst, and I cant help but really believe it is cancer. I am so sick of always thinking I am dying. and i am scared that one day I will be actually sick and no one will believe me.
January 22, 2008
My hypochondriasis is worse than ever
I just found this site after spending countless hours for the past two years searching for solutions to my numerous health problems. I have had OCD and hypochondriasis since the age of 4- I am currently in my 40's. I have diagnosed myself with everything from cancers to aids( live like a nun) -non of course which I have. Now I have been engaged in a battle with a possible diagnosis of reflux. The latter has been the most difficult to overcome. Three doctors say that I don't have it based upon mannometry and pH testing but and ENT says that I do based on history and the apprearance of my larynx. I did not manifest any symtoms of heartburn until I was told that I have reflux for the first time. After that I developed speech problems, hoarseness, globus etc. and was put on Pariet. It has all gotten to be too much for myself and my family. At least with all the skin lesions they could be biopsied and a definitive diagnosis could be made. Now I am afraid to be on or off the Pariet and am totally obsessed with finding a solution to the situation. Reflux is a tough one for hypochondriacs because it is difficult to diagnosis with any certainty and it can of course cause esophageal or laryngeal cancers so it is like the PERFECT disorder for the OCD hypo. I no longer function- used to be a successful teacher and am living in a severe depression which is comorbid with severe anxiety.
Just wondering if anyone else has successfully dealt with the relux as a potential somatiform disorder. I am on an antidepressants and engaging in CBT. I would love to hear from others who may be going through something similar and hear some suggestions on how to deal with it.
Thanks for your interest.
Anne
December 12, 2007
Cathy
I feel embarrassed posting this, but I am a genuine hypochondriac. I can testify that this is a real mental disorder and that it is difficult to live with. Many people might look at a hypochondriac and think they are only trying to get attention and they should just stop worrying. I promise, its not about attention and I wish more than anything that I could just stop worrying. The truth is that even knowing full well that I am a hypochondriac, I still can't stop thinking that, "this time" I am seriously ill. Even after a medical exam I still worry, I feel that the doctor just didn't see what I'm seeing or that the doctor just doesn't care that I'm sick. Is there anyone out there who knows how I feel?
I actually got my degree in psychology in part because of my fascinatio nwith this disease, and my realization that mental disorders are real and they deserve attention not stigmatization.
September 27, 2007
Hi to all who read this. I have diagnosed myself as a hypochondriac. It started when my cousin became very sick with ovarian and then bladder cancer. Around the same time, my aunt also died of ovarian cancer. My cousin won the battle with hers. A couple of months after, I noticed a small pain in my abdominal area to the left. I thought it was ovarian cancer. Had a procedure and found out that I was ok. A few months later, I thought I had uterine cancer. Made an appt with my OBGYN and found out I was ok. Lets just say since then, I have had other health scares. It keeps happening. Its interfering with my daily functioning because I worry about it and am constantly checking my body for symptoms. I am looking for some sort of relief.....
March 24, 2007
question
I really think there is something wrong with my mom, and I think hypochondria may be it. She always claims she is sick, goes to the doctor, and the doctor says she is fine. Recently, I was very sick with tonsilitis, and the next day my mom came home from work saying she thinks she has it, although she showed no symptoms. She constantly has a headache and is complaining about being ill, it is beginning to really interfere with all of our lives. I'm scared that one day she really will be sick and my dad or I won't pay her the attention she needs because we are so used to her illnesses. my dad says it has been going on since before I was born... over 18 years. I am thinking she does it for the attention that she receives from coworkers and extended family. Should I get her help? and if so how?
January 29, 2007
Blood
I have a huge detest and fear of blood. In fact, its more of other people's blood. In retrospect, I abhor all fluids from other people except my own and my family's and close close people to my heart. I'm not entirely that screwed in the head yet to detest all living humans - well can be considered quite close to that. Well, that's another story altogether.
So, a little introduction to what blood is:
The average adult has about five liters of blood living inside of their body, coursing through their vessels, delivering essential elements, and removing harmful wastes. Without blood, the human body would come to a halt. In other words, blood is very essential to life.
Blood is the fluid of life, transporting oxygen to the body. Blood is the fluid of growth, transporting nourishment throughout the body. Blood is the fluid of health, transporting disease fighting substances to the tissue and waste to the kidneys. Because it contains living cells, blood is alive.
Blood is composed of a straw-colored liquid called plasma which contains suspended cells. The different specialized cells found in blood are:
red blood cells
white blood cells
platelets
Approximately 90% of plasma is water- blood's solvent with the rest composed of dissolved substances, primarily proteins (e.g. albumin, globulin, fibronogen). Plasma typically accounts for 55% by volume of blood and of the remaining 45% the greatest contribution is from the red blood cells.
So, that is a brief summary of what the red fluid is all about, coursing through our veins at this very second.
I detest blood because blood, though essential in life is also a major bodily fluid that is highly infectious. You can get diseases such as the dreaded AIDS, hepatitis, Ebola, Cytomegalovirus and lesser known diseases such as Lassa fever (mostly in Afriaca). Well, these are just a list of scary diseases that are blood borne.
I have an inane fear of touching or coming in contact with other people's blood. The sight of blood makes me nauseous and queasy in the stomach and then I will slowly turn pale and almost blackout if its quite bad. Also, the strong smell of blood really punctures my nostrils and it's just too revolting and stomach upsetting. At the very moment I'm writting this, I'm already feeling a little quesy and weak in the hands. I shudder to think of blood - other people's blood.
Are we ever safe from other people's blood? I ask myself that many many times, maybe a million times. For instance, what if you're at a restaurant and the chef accidentally cut his finger while preparing your food and it drops into your food? What if you touched an object that has blood - be it dry or still fresh on it and there may be some small minor hairline cuts on your fingers? Does that not amount to a direct contact with blood? What if you share drinks with somebody and they have bleeding gums and you either have bleeding gums too or some sores or some sort of wound in your mouth that is not even noticeable? What if somebody cuts himself and they touch you directly on your hand or whichever part of your body and you have a small cut too? There are an infinite 'what if' scenarios that involves blood and other people's bodily fluids. We can't control other people and neither can we stay alone in the world without any human interatction of some sort. So, are we all at risk of some blood borne disease unknowingly? Or is it all hush hush so as not to set off wild epidemic panics amongst humans? What if all my fears are true and we are all at risk of blood borne diseases just because we will always have interactions with humans in the course of our lives? Are we subjected to continuous blood tests in our lifetime just to ascertain we are not accidentally or not, infected by other people's blood and bodily fluids? What if? What if? So many what ifs and not enough concrete answers.
Anyway, I really do hope its just the hypochondriac in me speaking and that my fear of human bodily fluids and blood is sheer over-reaction.
Wouldn't life be sweeter and safer if we all live safely in the confines of a giant plastic ball?
Share your thoughts and views with me about hypochondria in
Hypochondria and I
January 26, 2007
Confessions of a Hypochondriac
In her blog, Confessions of a Hypochondriac, Leila V. writes about life as a hypochondriac. It's a great peek into the mind of someone who worries about her health on a daily basis.
The opening lines of her latest post read:
Today was an okay today. Actually, it was a good day; aside from the agonizing chest pains and dizziness that plagued me through the afternoon.
She mixes humor and good writing with the very serious problem of living with hypochondria and anxiety. A must read for anyone with hypochondria or those trying to understand it!
