Health Diaries > Hypochondria > The Hypochondria Blog

February 3, 2008

i always think i am dying

Author: Staff

Hello. I just found this site and thought i would share my story. Ever since I was very young, I have thought I had many diseases. When my brother was three and I was six, he got a piece of carrot lodged in his lungs and had to have surgery to remove it. For months I would cry and choke at night thinking I too had a carrot stuck in my lung. When I was seven I watched a movie about AIDS and thought i had Aids for about a year after that. Now, I am 25 and almost everyday I think I am having a heart attack, and I always tell myself, yeah, this time I'm really going to die. Needless to say, I never do. Also, for three years I had a permanent sore throat. thinking I had cancer, I saw about five or six different doctors about it, and finally a throat specialist succeeded in convincing me that I was fine. The next morning, for the first time in years, my sore throat went away. Now, besides for the heart attack thing, I have a lump on my chest which three doctors said was a cyst, and I cant help but really believe it is cancer. I am so sick of always thinking I am dying. and i am scared that one day I will be actually sick and no one will believe me.

Posted by Staff on February 3, 2008 1:19 PM | DIGG | | furl


I'm sick of always thinking I'm dying too. It's really interfering with my life right now. A couple of weeks ago I finally had a panic attack from cumulative stress, which sent me to the doctor, who I had been avoiding for about 5 years. Thank god it did, because I'm not avoiding the doctor anymore.

Avoiding the doctor might not be your problem, but he gave me a short-term prescription for Ativan (lorazepan) and I take it when I get anxious. I've been getting extremely nervous about a particular health issue lately, and when I take the pill, the irrational fear goes away. It's amazing, I feel like a normal, rational human being.

I don't know if you've done this, but my point is you must talk to your doctor about your hypochondria and get into therapy for it. I'm starting therapy soon, and I'm seeing my doctor again soon who might choose to put me on a longer-term drug (not forever). It's the best thing you can do for yourself, and it really works! You might not get past it 100%, but you'll get to a much better place, I promise.

PS. I discovered a cyst on the back of my head when I was younger, and of course was convinced I had a brain tumor. It's nothing, and it's still hanging out there! It's not visible fortunately.

oh yeah, and I get a sore throat a lot from being stressed or upset--stress can do unbelievable things to the body. I felt very acute and terrifying physical symptoms during my panic attack, and it took time before I came to believe my symptoms were caused by stress. I felt sick and depressed for the following week. Fortunately I have something new to obsess about!

If you or anyone you know has trouble with anxiety, get The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. It's a fascinating read, and works with you to pin down your problems and helps you to deal with them, and points you toward other resources. It doesn't seem to have a lot on hypochondria specifically (I'm only part way through it) but it's still incredibly helpful, and I have other anxiety issues it helps me with too.

Hopefully you're frustrated enough by now to seek help; don't be afraid to, it's a healing process.

oh! oh! and I also thought I had AIDS once too! :D


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