Health Diaries > Hypochondria > The Hypochondria Blog
May 6, 2009
My story
I haven't always been like this. When I was 17 I had unprotected sex one time and got an STD. Suddenly I realized I was not invincible. I became obsessed with my sexual health, constantly making up symptoms in my head that didn't exist. It would consume me for hours at a time.
This went on for a few years, then I seemed to get better for a few. I would occassionally have my obsessive moments, but they were few and far between. It seems like the last couple of years it has come back and gotten worst. Now it isn't just sexual health, it is everything. I've had a small, odd-shaped freckle on my chest for years. I found myself spending hours looking at skin cancer pictures on the internet the other day. This morning I woke up with a sore throat and I read about swine flu for a few hours.
We got a dog a few months ago, and everytime she makes an odd noise or does something I am not familiar with, I am googling it and convincing myself she has all sorts of things.
The thing is... I know it's crazy and I know that odds are I don't have any of this stuff. I get lost on webmd, but when I stop and think about it, I realize how ridiculous and sick it is, but I cannot stop. And my feelings about illnesses have changed. When I first started being like this, I was more intrigued. Now I am really frightened of becoming seriously ill. I think I always thought that people with hypochondria weren't aware of their illness, but I am completely aware of how irrational I get. Is that possible?
I don't have health insurance, and I am probably the only person in the world that thinks that might just be a blessing. Otherwise I would probably be at the doctor once a week.
The worst is that I hide it from everyone. When the urge does overtake me and I go to the doctor anyway, I don't tell anyone. I don't tell my boyfriend that I can get obsessed and spend hours researching symptoms and convince myself I am dying. I am living with this secret paranoid obsession and I know it is crazy. I am an intelligent person. I have overcome a lot in my life. But, I think I am a hypochondriac.
Posted by Staff on May 6, 2009 5:15 PM | DIGG | del.icio.us | furl
Hi There
I’m a 22 year old female who thinks she’s off crazy, my problems started 2 years ago when I started with panic attacks. Although panic attacks are horrible I think I may have got a hold of them now thanks to panic classes provided from the NHS and a few sessions with a hypnotist!
Over the last 6 months I have been constantly obsessed that something is wrong with me and that I’m going to die, My main issues is my head as a suffer from headaches and the doctor has put me forward to go see a neurologist just to settle my mind, I do think I’m pathetic but I can’t seem to convince myself that there’s nothing wrong
I’m often tired, snappy, achy, short of breath, dizzy & get slight blurred vision the list could go on!
The last couple of days I have slept alot felt dizzy and had a tight chest ( It a feeling as if I’ve been winded)
Not only am I ruining my own life, its having an affect on my mum & boyfriend
I went to a hypnotist last week & she said she couldn’t help me so now I’m looking into CBT, Any advice on how to cope or what I can do would be fantastic
Thanks for listening to my dribble
JT
jee. sorry if i offend you
i read the first two lines of your blog and
thought, thats where you went wrong, and gave up on reading the rest.
i dont think developing hypochondria after a "mistake" is anything compared to living with it all of your life and having done nothing to develop a disease.
the doctors say im fine, but i still believe i may contract a disease that hasnt been discovered yet.
i think you should consider that maybe you shouldve been a little more hypochondriac like before you had unprotected sex
I have hypochondria. And I have found that the best cure is to be busy. Consume yourself with things to do. Get an intensive job, like serving tables, hang out with friends whenever possible. Do things that stimulate your mind in a way that takes the thoughts away from your health. Often times as I'm sure you've heard when we think about symptoms of illnesses we might have, we begin to experience them by means of our ever powerful minds that can best us at the worst of times. Don't let yourself scare yourself. If you start to feel yourself thinking about your health, watch a movie, talk to your boyfriend about work, go to a friends, take sleeping pills and fall asleep, play video games, read an interesting fictional book. Anything at all that will put something else on your mind.
Hope this helps, Hypochondria is a struggling disorder that has led people to overpowering fear that can interfere with their lives too much.
wow. i read this and instantly began to see myself in your story. however i'm 15 years old, been told i'm mature for my age. i have no std but i live in constant fear every day that i'm going to die. i have a million mosquito bites, i must have west nile. a headache? i must have the swine flu and will end up dying. i also have anxiety so it gets pretty bad. it's silly and crazy and i realize it too! i wish i had the strength to just stop it all. i'm thankful i'm not the only one out there who obsessed over health and feels like one cold could lead to death. is there real help out there?
