Health Diaries > The Hypochondria Blog

January 5, 2012

I want to help!

Hey, I'm Damako. To start things off, I will say that I want to help all of you because I know what you're going through. Last summer I thought I had AIDS. My friend poke me with a peice of metal that he had been poking alot of other people with. Then I saw a spot on me that looked like a AIDS legion. I tried to get the thought out of my mind but my OCD would just keep bringing it back in. I went into a deep depression. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day I worried about AIDS. I went to the doctor and he said I was fine but I still didn't get better. Not even the birth of my neice could get me pass my problem. I stopped running and just about everything else in my life besides worrying. Then one day as I was on the brink of losing my sanity, my mom got her friend who was a psychaiatrist to help me. My mom told me what her friend told her and I was ready to give one last push to get back on my feet. I started running again, and got my life back on track. Sure my OCD tries to scare me constantly but I fight it and I'm not ready to give up. It turns out I didn't have anything wrong with me. I will never get my hypochondriac experience but I will use it to drive me to reach my goals and I hope I've helped you. Never give up there is always hope!
-Damako

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June 9, 2011

Younger Hypochondriac

I began worrying that I had diabetes when I was in the sixth grade-about 11 years old.One night I couldn't sleep on the last day of our family vacation, and all of a sudden this seemingly random fear overtook me completely. I constantly, constantly looked up symptoms, wrote in health forums, and read medical books basically to feed my nervous energy. When my sister and my friends would go to any fun hangout like a mall or amusement park, I stayed home shaking and sometimes begged my mom to take me to the local pharmacy to test my urine or get another blood test. When my vision was blurry or i had itchy skin (supposed signs of diabetes), I felt like passing out from fear. Even after months of begging my mom to make an appointment for me at the local clinic, when the day arrived, I broke down and started sobbing and didn't want to go anymore because I was so afraid that I would be diagnosed. The tests came back negative, and my doctor reassured me that I was healthy and diabetes was nothing to worry about--she even said I should gain more weight (I had been avoiding sugar at all costs because of its connection with diabetes).
After that, I went on a trip with my friends and everything seemed to calm down, until about three days passed and I began to wonder if the test had been wrong. What if the doctor had misread my actually positive results and my diabetes got worse undiagnosed?? I imagined the worst possible things until they became reality for me. I couldn't sleep in my own room for the longest time and I followed my mom around constantly even when my friends were over. I became convinced that I had AIDS after my school had national awareness day, cancer after I saw a St. Jude's ad, Parkinson's, Schizophrenia, and anorexia. I even thought for a while that I was or would quickly become addicted to smoking after walking by a couple of smokers. This happened for about a year and a half or two years.
I am better now, although whenever I get nervous and think I am entering in another nervous phase, I write about it and it helps me. Just writing this helped me get a lot off my chest, and anybody with excessive health concerns and hypochondria should try it. Anybody else have a similar story?

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November 11, 2010

Brain Tumor...or Hypochondria?

The title alone makes me laugh a bit...these words seem like they should never be put together, but seriously...it is all I have been able to think about for a month now.

For two years I have suffered from serious headaches, but nothing that a migraine tablet won't sort out. Now, in the past month I have somehow managed to convince myself that I have got a Brain Tumor. Ever since I had the first thought my 'symptoms' have been worsening. I keep googling things that I am feeling and finding out that everything links to a Brain Tumor (although most of the symptoms could be linked to other things too). I haven't even had a headache now in a week (which is unusual for me), but I am still sure that I have strange feelings in my head. You know...it could be something serious. I am going to the doctors to get it checked out tomorrow. Going to demand a CT scan. I know that I might be totally wrong, but I need to be sure.

If I read about tumors I get all hot and sweaty....Start feeling sick and generally feel like I need to lie down. I have been living my life from my bed...as it is the only place that I feel safe.

Anyway...I thought I would post this because I believe there is something wrong with me...my mum believes I am a hypochondriac. I will update you all as soon as I have had a scan (if I can convince the doctor I am ill enough to give me one!!!)

(This blog has really helped me look at things from a different perspective. thanks x)

Comments (4111)

October 28, 2009

It all makes sense

My names Emma and I think I'm dying. I feel like theres a voice deep down inside whispering that I'm fine and have so much to look forward to and my fears are just that, unfounded, but it's being stifled by the booming voice in my head that is screaming your ill YOUR ILL, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG!!!!!

If my head hurts I have a brain tumour, if my visions blurry I have a tumour behind my eyes, if my heart skips a beat I have a heart murmur or I'm going to have a heart attack. I just had a miscarriage and now I am crippled by the fear I'll never have a child because my body isnt able. I'm only 26 years old!
I once called an ambulance when I was 18 because my heart was racing. I went to the hospital and was connected upto a heart monitor and had an x ray on my chest and was told by the doctor I must of had indigestion.
Another time I was watching a programme where a character died in a car crash, within minutes I was in my garden in the rain gasping for air because I was convinced I was going to drop dead there and then.
I feel so self absorbed and that if I tell anyone they will think I'm being stupid and ridiculous but I cannot help it. Living day to day in constant paranoia is crippling me. I need help and dont know where to start.

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November 27, 2008

Here we go again

man, im only 16 and ive had so much anxiety and panic attacks and the most ANOYINNG THING IN THE WORLD HEART PALPITATIONS OMG THERE SO GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! but anyways im always thinking everyday of my life, here we go again, im fixing to die. and thats usually when im alone and bored, but when im in school everything is normal, not one thing wrong with me. when im having fun with friends,,, nothing wrong with me, its just my mind wonders. see just now something just happened, i got focused on typing this and my palps were gone, but later on tonight they'll act up like little fags and keep me up for bout an hour and have me scared for my life im gunna die,,, see man its just gay. and i mean its just the littlest things that get me worried, my belly might start hurting and im like FUCK I GOT STOMACH CANCER..... then im just like shut the hell up man your stupid, you just got to talk to yourself and call your self a lil bitch cause in reality, NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND HE SAID I HAD PERFECT HEALTH. just feelt like speaking my heart, sorry for curssing but had to do it, JESUS CHRIST SAVES AND IS MY SAVIOR AND GOD IS LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ps... feel free to email me,,,, MAVS1819@yahoo.com

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June 5, 2008

Support Needed

I have suffered from hypochondria and anxiety ever since I was a child. My symptoms and fears seem to go in cycles. In between I feel OK. This is a particularly bad time for me. About seven months ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with reflux. I have since suffered all kinds of gastrointestinal symptoms including chronic nausea, abdominal pain, a sour/ metallic taste in my mouth, weight loss (partly due to reduced appetite, but also due to???) and FEAR. All I do is dwell, dwell, dwell on my symptoms. I have had two endoscopies (I did have a Schatzky's ring, which was stretched during the 2nd procedure - my esophagus was too inflamed the first time to treat it), a barium swallow, a gastric emptying test, a CT scan of the abdomen, an MRI of the small intestine and lots of blood work. All normal except for the blood work did reveal an alarmingly low IgA function for which I'm going to a new doctor in two weeks. A couple of weeks ago, I saw the title of an article about burning mouth syndrome. I didn't read it because I didn't want to know the symptoms - afraid I'd get them. Well, guess what? I got them anyway! I'm too scared to find out what the typical symptoms of burning mouth syndrome are but the name sounds bad enough. I even have burning stomach syndrome (my invention perhaps?) to go with it and today the skin on my face was burning. I feel like I'm cracking up. Any help appreciated! Mona Lisa

Comments (2969)

March 19, 2008

Recovering from Health Anxiety

Hi, my name is Melissa and I used to have health anxiety/hypochondria. I'm doing so much better now, I have a few issues with anxiety and depression but I'm not too worried about my health.

I have been worried about my health all my life but in about 1999 it got very serious and I stopped being able to function for a while. I was worried I had mostly ALS or MS or some sort of neurological disorder. Then eventually I realized that a lot of the weird physical symptoms I was experiencing were things that were also anxiety symptoms. I found a psychiatrist that was able to help me.

The biggest part of my recovery was realizing that my problem was hypochondria and anxiety, not the diseases I was worried about.

If you'd like to read more about my story, it's on my site at:

http://healthanxiety.homestead.com/

Comments (2931)

November 3, 2007

age 53
Dad died 47 colon cancer
Sister had Hodgkins disease at 13 (survived now 44)
Other sister had neuroendochrine carcinoma this year at age 47
Mom and me cancer free so far
My son, now 19. Two epidsodes of bone surgery since age 14. Diagnosed with aneurysmal bone cyst (mimics osteosarcoma)
Just told me tonight, has had increasing shoulder pain for about 2 weeks.
Is it ok to start obsessing??????

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