October 28, 2009

It all makes sense

My names Emma and I think I'm dying. I feel like theres a voice deep down inside whispering that I'm fine and have so much to look forward to and my fears are just that, unfounded, but it's being stifled by the booming voice in my head that is screaming your ill YOUR ILL, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG!!!!!

If my head hurts I have a brain tumour, if my visions blurry I have a tumour behind my eyes, if my heart skips a beat I have a heart murmur or I'm going to have a heart attack. I just had a miscarriage and now I am crippled by the fear I'll never have a child because my body isnt able. I'm only 26 years old!
I once called an ambulance when I was 18 because my heart was racing. I went to the hospital and was connected upto a heart monitor and had an x ray on my chest and was told by the doctor I must of had indigestion.
Another time I was watching a programme where a character died in a car crash, within minutes I was in my garden in the rain gasping for air because I was convinced I was going to drop dead there and then.
I feel so self absorbed and that if I tell anyone they will think I'm being stupid and ridiculous but I cannot help it. Living day to day in constant paranoia is crippling me. I need help and dont know where to start.

Comments (1)

November 27, 2008

Here we go again

man, im only 16 and ive had so much anxiety and panic attacks and the most ANOYINNG THING IN THE WORLD HEART PALPITATIONS OMG THERE SO GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! but anyways im always thinking everyday of my life, here we go again, im fixing to die. and thats usually when im alone and bored, but when im in school everything is normal, not one thing wrong with me. when im having fun with friends,,, nothing wrong with me, its just my mind wonders. see just now something just happened, i got focused on typing this and my palps were gone, but later on tonight they'll act up like little fags and keep me up for bout an hour and have me scared for my life im gunna die,,, see man its just gay. and i mean its just the littlest things that get me worried, my belly might start hurting and im like FUCK I GOT STOMACH CANCER..... then im just like shut the hell up man your stupid, you just got to talk to yourself and call your self a lil bitch cause in reality, NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND HE SAID I HAD PERFECT HEALTH. just feelt like speaking my heart, sorry for curssing but had to do it, JESUS CHRIST SAVES AND IS MY SAVIOR AND GOD IS LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ps... feel free to email me,,,, MAVS1819@yahoo.com

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June 5, 2008

Support Needed

I have suffered from hypochondria and anxiety ever since I was a child. My symptoms and fears seem to go in cycles. In between I feel OK. This is a particularly bad time for me. About seven months ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with reflux. I have since suffered all kinds of gastrointestinal symptoms including chronic nausea, abdominal pain, a sour/ metallic taste in my mouth, weight loss (partly due to reduced appetite, but also due to???) and FEAR. All I do is dwell, dwell, dwell on my symptoms. I have had two endoscopies (I did have a Schatzky's ring, which was stretched during the 2nd procedure - my esophagus was too inflamed the first time to treat it), a barium swallow, a gastric emptying test, a CT scan of the abdomen, an MRI of the small intestine and lots of blood work. All normal except for the blood work did reveal an alarmingly low IgA function for which I'm going to a new doctor in two weeks. A couple of weeks ago, I saw the title of an article about burning mouth syndrome. I didn't read it because I didn't want to know the symptoms - afraid I'd get them. Well, guess what? I got them anyway! I'm too scared to find out what the typical symptoms of burning mouth syndrome are but the name sounds bad enough. I even have burning stomach syndrome (my invention perhaps?) to go with it and today the skin on my face was burning. I feel like I'm cracking up. Any help appreciated! Mona Lisa

Comments (1)

March 19, 2008

Recovering from Health Anxiety

Hi, my name is Melissa and I used to have health anxiety/hypochondria. I'm doing so much better now, I have a few issues with anxiety and depression but I'm not too worried about my health.

I have been worried about my health all my life but in about 1999 it got very serious and I stopped being able to function for a while. I was worried I had mostly ALS or MS or some sort of neurological disorder. Then eventually I realized that a lot of the weird physical symptoms I was experiencing were things that were also anxiety symptoms. I found a psychiatrist that was able to help me.

The biggest part of my recovery was realizing that my problem was hypochondria and anxiety, not the diseases I was worried about.

If you'd like to read more about my story, it's on my site at:

http://healthanxiety.homestead.com/

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November 3, 2007

age 53
Dad died 47 colon cancer
Sister had Hodgkins disease at 13 (survived now 44)
Other sister had neuroendochrine carcinoma this year at age 47
Mom and me cancer free so far
My son, now 19. Two epidsodes of bone surgery since age 14. Diagnosed with aneurysmal bone cyst (mimics osteosarcoma)
Just told me tonight, has had increasing shoulder pain for about 2 weeks.
Is it ok to start obsessing??????

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